Once Again, I Dreamt of Water

Written on My Skin by Papa

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .

—Jeremiah 1:5

ESTÉFANO: In bed, I sniff Alondra's armpit and kiss it, she giggles and hits me. I laugh and go on to sleep between her breasts. Babe, Papa sent me back to you. He knew you and the girls still needed me. He needed me to tell you guys He exists! And our love story is just beginning!

The door is slightly open, and our girls come barging in, jumping into bed with us—we are nude underneath our bathrobes; nonetheless, we let them stay here. Estefano welcomes Stefi with a tickle beneath an arm,  she squeals and giggles and goes on to kiss her papa on the nose. Aww, that's so sweet, Ceci says. Mommy, Cecilia says, climbing over Estefano to get closer to my Lark woman. Yes baby, what's up? she says to Cec. Mommy are you and Daddy pregnant?

Alondra looks at me with a smirk. I don't think so, baby girl, but you can ask your Daddy to pray to Papa if you really want a baby! I'm sure Papa will grant you your dream, if you ask Him with all your heart! 

Okay, Mommy, I'll do that, Ceci says touching Alondra's navel. Stefi is sucking her thumb and cuddling between Alondra and me.

ALONDRA: The girls have returned to their room, knowing that their father and I need our quiet, time alone now. 

I caress his hair and slide a strand behind his ear. I remove my robe, he removes his. He gathers our white sheets and covers me from neck to toe. Beneath our sheets, I am caressing his navel, I uncover his torso, leaving his belly button exposed. I kiss it even though I know it isn't an erotic zone for him, yet for me it is endearing and my way of saying thank You Papa for having created him one day inside his mother's womb, where they were connected through the ombilical cord. I write this in my journal, and one day I will show it to him. 

I slide my foot down Estéfano's leg 'til I reach his foot. The arch of my foot kisses the top of his foot wanting to become one with his step. He kisses my neck and makes me feel giddy. 

On my body, it is as if ancient stories have been painted on my breasts there are forests and rivers: veins designed by Papa.

Estéfano's kisses and caresses are imprinted on my breasts because he has loved me whole, has studied the winding creeks of my veins, my wretched scars kissed, and escarchas - glitter: my moles that are glimpses of eternity he has tried to count and decipher, I giggle as he traces them - all the love written on my skin by Papa.