What If I Said Yes!

10

We lay on the pool table once again. Hands laced together. Looking at the sunrise when I looked up into Logan's eyes.

R= Logan we have to leave this room at some point

L= Ace be here, with me

I sat up and put my hand on his chest.

R= You said you had grown up and I said the same. Let's not make that the last lie we tell each other.

He looked up at me and sat up. Putting his hands around my face, he kissed me and looked into my eyes.

L= I just want one last chance with you if thats all right

I smiled at him.

R= It is.

I hopped of the table in the nude and turned to him.

R= Now come help me with my dress and no funny business this time.

And with that I was off to Stars Hollow to await a giant fight at the dinner table we had never sat at.

I entered the house and smelled popcorn and heard the TV going.

R= Mom?

Lo= Hey kid I'm in here

I walked in and saw her sitting with her bowl of mixed popcorn and peanuts on the couch. So I plopped down and took a handful and while Paul Newman's baby blues flashed across the TV screen.

R= We need to talk.

Lo= Oh no are we breaking up? Is it me, cuz I can change. You bet your bottom dollar I will Mister.

I chuckled but looked down at my lap, chewing my cheek as I did when I was nervous.

Lo= Kid whats wrong?

R= Mom there is a man in my life. He has done some things he isn't too proud of and if afraid of the judgement of being known.

Lo= How bad we talking here kid?

R= Mom!

Lo= So am I allowed to ask yes/no questions?

I nodded

Lo= Older?

R= Yes

Lo= By years?

R= More than one, less than five

She nodded

Lo= Do I know him Rory?

R= Yes mom

Lo= Do you two have history ?

I nodded and looked into my lap.

Lo= Jess is gay and married, Dean is Married

There was a long pause

Lo= There are no other options but two and I have no idea whose worse.

Lo= Is it Triston?

R= No Mom, you know who it is.

Lo= Kid why. He is nothing but bad for you. He sent you into this nightmare in the first place. I have been picking up the pieces of his horrible qualities dogging you about a marriage you aren't ready for. How can you expect me to be ok with this?

R= Mom he is different and so am I. I'm standing here today not for your permission or gratitude, I'm here because he was the first person that made me feel something real.

Lo= Why are you so hung up on a reality that time and time again has failed you. And frankly you aren't grown ups, You are both two little kids whose naïveté is going to wind them in deeper water than they can swim out of.

R= Oh really I'm taking relationship advice from you!

Lo= Take it or leave it for what it is Rory. It's me saying for the hundredth time that I made this mistake before you will and to please stop. To not run towards something that makes you comfortable.

R= He doesn't make me comfortable. He challenges me academically, spiritually, and emotionally. He provides a space for me to have the most fun I have ever had, but open up in a way that helps me be honest with myself. When I broke up with Logan in the first place, it wasn't the Hunzinbergers or rapidness of it all. It was my self preservation kicking in saying I couldn't trust anyone with who I was.
He makes me feel seen Mom and all I want from you is to see the smile he puts on my face.

I had tears streaming down my face at this point.

Lo= The smiles matter half as much as the tears do. I want to love this boy if you love him. But I also wanted to love your Dad and touch the stove and dance with Tigers. But those things only hurt me.

R= Then this is goodbye Mom. Not because I'm trading in you for him. But because I have too much damn self esteem to live with my mother who doesn't care about the decisions I make as a grown ass woman

I got my stuff and ran. To the only place that had ever felt more like home than home; Luke's.