Traumatised

Do You Want To Die?

When Dick awoke the next morning, Slade was gone. He led and stared at the empty bed for some time, thinking over the events of the previous night. The weight still did not feel any lighter on his shoulders, but in a weird way, he no longer felt like he was living a lie. He had told Slade the truth about his past. He had been raped and Batman...Bruce had not saved him. He thought back to Slade's reaction, the man had been calm and in return for Dick's honesty, he had told him the truth about his son's death. Now Dick understood why the older man wanted to help him.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself up from the bed and treaded carefully to the door. Slade was in the kitchen area, sat at the table with his head in his hands. When he heard Dick approach he looked up.

'Good morning.' He said.

'How long have you been up?' asked Dick quietly, the man was dressed but he didn't look as awake and ready to go as he usually did.

'A few hours.'

'What time is it?' Down here in the windowless base, it was hard to guess at the time.

'About 9:30. After your disrupted sleep last night, I didn't want to wake you.'

Dick nodded in thanks and sat down at the table, opposite the other man.

'How did you know what to do?' asked Dick, genuinely curious. 'No one's ever been able to bring me out of paralysis before.'

Slade's eyebrow lifted in interest. 'You've had sleep paralysis before?'

Dick nodded. 'A few times when I was in Gotham, once with the Titans before I ran away.'

'And it's always the same figure that appears?'

Dick nodded again. 'It's always him.'

'Who was he, Dick?' Slade leaned forward, resting his arms on the table.

But Dick shook his head. 'He's locked away, that's all that matters.'

It clearly wasn't, but Slade did not pry. He could tell the boy wasn't in the mood and to be honest, neither was he. Bringing up Grant had resurfaced some repressed emotions of his own. He needed some time to sort through them in his head. They sat in silence for a while, when Slade finally looked up, the boy was picking at the hem of his shirt, his eyes unfocused.

'Let's get out of here.' He said, making the younger look up in surprise.

'Where?'

'Do you climb?'

Dick gave him a confused look. Climb?

'There's a good climbing spot a few miles outside of Jump, not many people know about it, so it will be very quiet. Fancy it?'

Dick contemplated this for a moment, the last time he had gone climbing had been with Bruce. The thought made him sad for a second, but then he remembered how much he had enjoyed it.

'Sure.' He said. He could see the older man needed to get out of this base too. 'I'll go get changed.' He got up and headed back to the bedroom to grab his clothes. When he started making his way to the bathroom, Slade was no longer in the kitchen.

Once locked in the bathroom, Dick looked at himself in the mirror. He had been with Slade for a little under two weeks, already the pieces were fitting back together. He'd completed five of his school assignments, he was going longer periods of time without having the itching under his skin. Despite having an episode of sleep paralysis, the night before, he didn't feel afraid to go back to sleep. Now that he knew Slade would be able to bring him out of it, it no longer felt like an impossible prison. But this scared him. It made him feel guilty. Why hadn't Bruce, his father, been able to make him feel this safe? Why did he hold so much anger towards Bruce? The attack hadn't been the older man's fault. He hadn't known it was Ivy, disguising herself as Rose to get close to him. He had been as much a victim to the whole ordeal as Dick himself. So why did he feel this anger when he thought about him? The guilt felt like a hot fire in his chest.