I love her

Goodbye

I might delete this book mainly because I'm trying to move on and forget her. If I don't delete it then I'll probably just not update it again?
Back in 2015 we broke up for the first time and I actually tried to kill myself multiple times, not because of her, but because of everyone who was against me. When we were together I felt like I meant something to someone,but after that.. I kinda just gave up. I started counseling, went to a group therapy, and had so many teachers and adults watching over me and it made it even worse. I felt like I wasn't free, like I was trapped. We got back together a while later and I started making friends, everyone could tell I was happier. But they didn't know that she was the one who was making me happy. I knew my family was homophobic (my sister outed me when me and her started dating). So I wasn't about to tell them that we were back together. Though my dad and step mom found out, and they accepted me, they let her stay the night and let us hang out all the time and go on dates, she was the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. Fast forward to 2017, I was in 8th grade I believe, we were broken up, but still friends. I started getting bad again. I was going to my dads for a weekend and right before I was gonna be picked up, I took a bunch of pills. I ended up going to a friends house and then throwing everything up. My dad was pissed, of course. I was dizzy as shit and felt so drunk. I remember talking about someone's hat and saying I liked it. My mom never found out.
Then comes freshman year and once again, I tried to kill myself again. I failed, but no one knew I tried. I was at school the next day and broke down, so I ran to the counselors and told them that I needed to be hospitalized because I just didn't want to feel like this anymore. I wanted to get better. They called my mom and told her everything. I went back to counseling. I did have a few relapses and broke down a lot but I didn't ever try to kill myself after that.
So now I'm two months clean, and a lot happier than I was all those years ago. I have better friends, I haven't talked to her in a while.
This book was about a girl named Ashli. Who I was in love with. I'm slowing getting over her, becoming a better person. I still have my days, where all I do is lay in bed and cry, thinking about all the good times. But it's okay, because one day, I'll forget about her.
So there's my story. I hope everyone enjoyed reading this. Stay strong, and be you. ❤️
A final goodbye -Naomi Lee