5/15/19
I almost didn't write this
I almost couldn't think to put my thoughts down
And that's the nicest thing I could ever do
Keep this all to myself
I did it again today
But I almost didn't do it
I was this close and thinking about why I would ever want to
I guess without distractions instincts come through
And that's the nicest thing I could ever do for myself
Never do that again
I almost didn't tell you
I almost didn't tell them either
Their prying words ripping holes in my facade
They tried to look in
But before they did
I told them what lies beyond the curtains
And that's the nicest thing I could ever do for them
Tell them the cute version of the story
People become offended at the things I almost do
People aren't all too bright, I understand
But when people become angered by the things I've already done
There's nothing I could do
But stand and drown in the quicksand
And the nicest thing I've ever done for anyone, was not fight back
6/15/19
You and I
Sitting on one of our beds
Laying down
My arms around your waist
Your heartbeat in my ear as I lay on your chest
This is the benign reality we've built for ourselves
The one I never want to leave
But
As time goes on
Your heartbeat turns into a faint pulse
And the tighter I try to hold you, the faster you melt away through my arms
And then our bed turns into the hard concrete outside
Where I'll lay until someone else finds me
And I can do this song and dance all over again
And to remember the ghosts of all the ones before as I hold them in my arms, my head on their chest as their heartbeat pounds through my ear
In this harsh reality I've built for myself
One I can never leave
