Denial - A Nathan Sykes Fanfiction - AU - COMPLETED {IN EDITING}

Chapter 13

I was sat in the living room just scrolling through my Facebook feed and smiling. After Nathan and I had kissed last night, we spent most of the night watching movies together. Nathan had even fallen asleep and stayed in my bed with me all night, which made me extremely happy. Nathan was currently in the kitchen cooking us some dinner before we go out to the park, since it was a nice day out.

"Here." Nathan says, handing me a bowl of Spaghetti Bolognaise.
"Oh, thank you." I reply as I start to eat mine, "What are you gonna tell Paige?" I ask, trying to break the silence between us.
"Eva, I already told you last night that Paige and I aren't back together. She was there for company and she knows that too. When you left, I told her that her and I can't be together again and that we should just be friends." Nathan says as I look at him confused.
"But when I asked you about it, before I left, you were the one that told me that you guys were back together." I say confused.
"I know I did and, we was but, I shouldn't have gone back with her in the first place. You're the one I want, Eva, and it took me getting back with Paige to realise that. I know I'm making it seem like I used Paige to realise what I really wanted but, it isn't like that." Nathan says as I nod, now sort of understanding.
"It's okay. You don't have to explain it to me, Nath. I was just confused. It's fine." I ay, smiling at him as he smiles back.
"I love it when you smile." He says as I smile again.
"Thanks." I reply before we finish eating and place our bowls away.

Once we'd finished putting everything away, Nathan sat in the living room watching TV while I went to get myself ready. I pulled out some black skinny jeans and a Paramore T-shirt before trying to get myself dressed. Once I'd managed to dress myself, I grabbed my white converse and slipped them on.

I wheeled myself to Nathan before smiling at him, making him smile back at me.

"You look beautiful." He says as I blush.
"Thank you, Nathan. I decided to not wear any makeup and leave my hair down. I don't wanna make too much of an effort since it's just the park." I say as he smiles.
"You don't need makeup. Even with no effort, you still look gorgeous." He says as I blush again.
"Thank you." I reply before Nathan pushes my wheelchair towards the door before we leave in the direction of the park.

Once we got to the ark, Nathan pushed me to the river before we sat there and watched the water just flow for a while. The silence was comforting and it was nice for a while.

"Are you feeling okay?" Nathan speaks up as I smile and nod.
"Yeah. I guess so, I mean, I used to love to go to the park when I lived back in Lincoln. Jackson and I used to sit on the fishing decks and just hang our feet into the water..." I trail off, "Now I have no feeling in my legs, I won't even be able to feel the calmness of the water. I won't even be able to feel the temperature." I say as Nathan smiles.
"You don't have to." Before I could say anything, he had picked me up out of my chair and started to take me onto the deck.
"Nathan, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to get him to put me down.

He placed me down on the deck and just hung my legs into the water.

"Nathan, I can't feel anything." I say as he frowns and sighs.
"You don't have to feel anything to still enjoy the things you used to love doing." Nathan says as I look at him confused, "Eva, even though you're disabled, you can still do everything you used to love doing. It'd just be slightly different now." Nathan adds on.
"Nathan, it's always gonna be different. It'll never be the same." I reply as he takes my hand and kneels down beside me.
"Even though it's different, you can still do it. Nobody will stop you from doing any of the things that you love to do, Eva. Not even your disability." Nathan says as I smile at him and let a few tears fall.
"I didn't want it to be this way, Nathan. I want to be me again. I just don't feel like me anymore." I say as He wraps his arms round me, letting me lean into him.
"Eva, you're still you. You will always be you. Please don't let this get in the way of your dreams. You can still be you. The old you." He says as I look up at him.
"I'm trying, Nathan. I'm really trying." I reply as he kisses the top of my head.
"Evadine, the only thing you can do is try."

Later, once Nathan and I had got home, I went to my room and changed into my pyjamas, just thinking about everything Nathan had said earlier. It was all true but, I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

This isn't me. It never has been me.

I need to start physio.