Almost A Decade // Ryden

Chapter One.

     Writing songs has always been something that came easy to me. Growing up, I didn't have life easy from being the youngest in my family vying for attention, to the bullying, having ADHD, to my lack of faith in religion, and the struggles of sexuality. All of these altering situations have made for some of the best lyrics I ever created.

I am now working on my sixth studio album, and it hit me .... Where the fuck are my friends? My old friends. The ones who I joined this band with. I never thought that I would be sitting here without them, trying to please the fans we all occurred together.

But I write anyway .....

I hear a knock on the door, and I see two little furry faces running at me with joy. "Hi Bogart, who's a good boy?" I said, laughing at all the neck kisses, while Penny sits at my feet wagging her tail in excitement to see dad.

"Hi honey, didn't know if you were hungry, but I brought you a sandwich." Sarah says with a smile, setting it down next to me with a beer to accompany.

"Thank you, I love you." I say, not taking the time to even look up at my own wife.

"New song?" She suggests, trying to get some type of conversation out of me. It's honestly been days since we've spoke. Death of a Bachelor is now a year old, so I am fully indulged in this new music, because if I don't write it, who will? Not to mention, Fortnite has taken up most of my weeks, but it's a good time playing.

"Yeah .... just trying to pump out these lyrics before they get lost in my brain." She laughs at my reply, nods, standing up from my desk she leaned her perfect body against.

Why am I struggling to talk to her? It's been like this for months now, and I just ... trust me when I say I love my wife, but the thoughts of my old friends has taken my mind away from my current life.

"I'm going to bed soon, so a kiss from my handsome husband would really help me fall asleep." She places a hand on my shoulder and leans in. I kiss her, holding her lips there for a moment to let her know I mean it, and smile.

"Thank you, now goodnight.... and please don't be out here long. We have things to do tomorrow." I give her a reassuring nod that I heard her. She calls to the kids, and they run out in front of her, closing the door behind her.

I'm alone again.

——————————————-

"Go ahead, I'll park the car and meet you up front." I tell Sarah, dropping her off in front of WholeFoods. Grocery shopping was top priority today. She gets out, and heads in while I circle the parking lot for a spot. Finally, I find a good one, and step out taking a second to admire my new Tesla. Fuck, it looks great.

I walk into the store, and spot Sarah over looking at the vegetables. I walk up behind her, and startle her as I wrap my hands around her waist and get a closer look at what she's eyeing.

"Damnit, Brendon!" she whispers with a slight laugh, "You scared the hell out of me." She drops the bag of asparagus she was holding into the cart, and I begin to push. We walk around the store for about an hour - Sarah likes to look at everything, but it doesn't bother me. We probably need this alone time together.

I hear a song come on that I haven't heard in awhile and I start to dance around. Sarah doesn't pay attention, because this is nothing new....

"Beebo?" I hear from someone behind me. I turn around, already knowing it's a fan because they're the ones who gave me that name.

"Hi!" I exclaim, Sarah looks up to see who it is.

"Oh my gosh, Brendon! I love you so much! Can I please take a picture with you?" I never turn down a fan, so I let her snap the selfie and give her a hug.

"We better go." Sarah says grabbing the cart, and heading towards the cashier. Once one finds me, they all come running... which isn't a bad thing but it's overwhelming and I only had a joint when I woke up. My high had been long gone, and anxiety is an unfortunate friend of mine.

——————————————————-

Sitting back in the studio, I hear my phone go off. Nothing is more important than my music right now, so I ignore it. They'll call back if it's urgent, and most of the time this logic works and they don't call back.

It rings again.

Fuck.

I pick it up and see Spencer is calling. So I answer ....

"Hey man, what's up??"

"Hey dude, I was just ringing to let you know I am having a little get together on Saturday. Linda and I would love if you and Sarah could stop by."

"Of course. Thank you, dude."

We chat for a bit, and hang up. I'm actually excited. Spencer and I talk a lot, but hang out is something we rarely do, and it will be nice to see him and his wife. They're honestly great people, and he seems more happy now that he's clean.

Maybe I can use him for some help with these songs. Even though he isn't with the band anymore, I know he still has some great ideas stored away. This could be exactly what I need.

———————————————

We walk up to Spencer's front door. Sarah is dressed in a gorgeous dress, one I've never seen before. She looks so great in white, against her tan skin and the way her hair is colored right now, it just seems to be glowing. Wow, my wife is hot. Me? I'm in a new suit I had just bought. Brendon Urie in a suit, makes me laugh at how much I've grown up. The graduation from Converse to red bottom shoes is enough to make 17 year old me gag.

"Should we knock?" She asked while simultaneously fixing my hair. It's usually so greasy that it stays in place, but I decided to shower today so it was more ... fluffy ... than normal.

"Nah, I think we should just be able to walk right in." I place my hand on the door knob, and the other around her waist and we walk in.

"SARAH! BRENDON!" I hear a familiar voice sound, and before I could look over, Sarah was out of my grasp and into the arms of Linda.

"It's been forever!" She says hugging Sarah, and then stepping over to my stretched out arms. I really like Linda. She had been there for Spencer through one of the worst times of his life, and to see them come out on the other side of that ... I couldn't have been happier for them both.

"Bren, come get a beer," Spencer says heading back into their kitchen. There was only about five or six people occupying their living room, but I could hear more in the kitchen. Good thing I ate that edible, because we clearly have a different definition of "small get together."

I meet Spencer in the kitchen, standing in front of his fridge, eyeing my options for a beer. It suddenly gets eerily quiet behind me. Why did these people stop talking? What were they talking about? "Stop it, Brendon. You're just high," I remind myself, picking up the last Bass.

"I saved that for you." Spencer says laughing, and patting me on the back.

I smile back at him, popping the cap, and placing the beer to my lips. "Oh, there's something that I need your help with," I say to Spencer. He starts walking toward a seat at his kitchen table, "Brendon Urie needs my help?" he laughs, "What is it?"

Pretending to be looking at the collage he calls a fridge, I finally build the courage to turn around, to face the people I am almost positive I won't recognize. And then my heart stopped for a minute.

Ryan?