Almost A Decade // Ryden

Chapter Nine.

     I run back down the stairs, and up to the front of the house and look out the window. I can hear the other three in the kitchen whispering, but I don't give a shit what they're saying. I see Ryan leaning up against his car, shading his eyes from the sun and staring at his phone screen.

     I open the front door, and sneak out .... of my own house, so the others wouldn't hear. Ryan must've seen me out of the corner of his eye because he shot a look over in my direction. "Brendon...." he breathed.

     "Shut up." I whisper, still walking towards him. He looks at me offended. "Just shut up for a minute and drive." I open Ryan's car door and get in. He's still outside of the car, looking at me, confused. I motion into the car, and he finally walks around and gets in. "Drive."

     "Where?" He sticks the keys in his ignition, and I put my hand over his hand to stop him.

     "Anywhere, but when you start the car... you need to immediately pull out and drive off." I take my hand away, looking back up at the house, none of the curtains have moved yet. Ryan starts the car and does exactly as I say.

     "What is going on?" He finally asks after we had been driving about five minutes.

     "Nothing. Pull over up here." I point to an open space on a fairly quiet street. There's not many houses around, just a small wooded area that's close enough to my house that I can walk back home, I just needed to get him away from the house. I get out of the car, and Ryan takes his keys, and gets out, too.

     "B .... what is going on?"

———————————————-

     I just start walking home. I don't want to talk to Ryan right now. I've been so emotional lately, I don't know what I would even say, I don't know what he's going to say. I mean.... the last time I saw the guy he fucking kissed me.

     "What the fuck, Brendon?" Ryan yells out to me. "Now who's running away from their problems? Remember that lecture you just gave me...." his voice trails off from him turning around to get back in his car.

     He struck a nerve in me though, and I couldn't help myself from turning around. "Fuck you, Ryan."

     "Fuck me??" He stops his movement and spins around quickly. I start walking back in his direction.

     "Yes, fuck you. Why did you even try to come back into my life? Why?" I just keep yelling, I can't stop. All my built up tension and aggression is coming out, and he's stuck on the receiving end of it. He doesn't even say anything, he's just standing there ... looking at me. "Do you know what you almost walked into? My wife, my best friend and his wife giving me a little fucking "intervention" because of you."

     "Well you wouldn't respond to me... I wanted to make sure you were fine."

     "Did you think that I would honestly reply to anything you said to me after your girlfriend showed up at my house DEMANDING to know why we were hanging out? I couldn't trust that it was you on the other side of the texts .... I can't fucking trust anyone." I lean back against his car, head in my palms, trying not to go completely psychotic.

     Ryan's face is sheet white. "What?" His voice was low, and calm. "Brendon ... what are you talking about?

————————————————

"Some days I lie wide awake,
til the sun hits my face and I fade.
Elevate from the Earth.
Far away to a place where I'm
free from the weight ...

This whole world, this whole world.

I don't trust anything, or anyone ...
below the sun.
And I don't feel anything ... at all."