one good thing | second squad/reddit crew oneshots

a rant... but this time it's personal

None of you have to read this I just need to get it out it's not about the Reddit crew or anything I'm sorry I just have to let it out.

I have a friendship group of 6 people, including me. One of these people, I've considered my best friend since the beginning of high school. Let's call her Kath. Kath and me were very close, up until recently. We haven't been as close, due to out interests changing. I still consider her my best friend.

In our friend group, there's a girl called 'blake'. Blake and Kath started dating near the beginning of this year. This separated me and Kath more. They broke up, about 3 weeks ago, bc Blake told Kath she was too clingy for her and it wasn't her fault but Blake felt she wasn't what Kath wanted. To be honest, I never felt they were really together. Occasionally, they held hands and sat with each other a bit more. It was never anything big. Blake always looked uncomfortable when Kath did this stuff.

There's another friend in our group, let's name her Jenny. I had a moment of realisation that I liked her on the bus. It was that kinda moment. I didn't want to but suddenly I was seeing her in a different light. I wanted to forget I thought about her, but it was too late. She was already a crush. I've never dated anyone, we've hung out alone and I just thought maybe she felt a similar way about me. I planned on telling her how I felt soon, it's been bothering me a while.

Uve been gone on holiday a week, and people have been filling me in on stuff all day. Someone said a comment to Kath when she did something, saying 'what would Jenny say about that?'

I asked why it mattered what Jenny said (in relevancy to the matter) and an awkward silence settled. Kath didn't say anything. I feared I knew what was really going on.

Later, after school, I got a text from Jenny. Saying that her and Kath are going out.

I've never felt more shattered.

It's stupid. I know it's stupid. Jenny is a crush that should go away but how come Kath gets to act on hers and I don't? She always gets the girl and I'm left with nothing.

I sent Jenny a text back saying that was cool and it made sense. I cried while I sent it.

I'm not mad at either of them. Not Kath, I still love her as my friend and certainly not Jenny. Neither of them knew how I felt. Maybe then I wouldn't get stepped on.

It feels dumb, to think these these thoughts. But I can't help but feel Kath is just gonna do the same thing with Jenny as she did to Blake. That I could do better. But I'll never get the chance now.

I hurt so bad it's hard to continue I don't know how I'll go on at school if they're touchy feely. I can't let them know how I feel.

I'm surprised if anyone read that I don't even know why I'm uploading it I just need to voice if