one good thing | second squad/reddit crew oneshots

'I love you,' he lied. (bluespartanz)

(y'all have been getting too much fluff outta me like goddamb it's time for me to release my edgyness again.)

He never meant to lie to him. At first it wasn't even that, at first it was the truth. Brandon did love Henry, but things change.

The first time they kissed, he felt a way he'd never felt before.

Their first date, he had never smiled wider.

Late discord calls, he didn't even care that he had work to do because the pretty boy was behind the other screen.

They didn't matter now.

Brandon often wonders what clicked. He can't feel the way he felt when they first kissed anymore. Perhaps that's because they never do kiss anymore, due to a long distance relationship.

But he can't smile back thinking about their first date anymore because they don't do that anymore. Even when they are together, he couldn't be bothered to take the smaller boy to the pretty restaurant with fairy lights and compliment him by saying he was even prettier. Instead, when Henry did visit, they filled up the silence between them by hanging out with other friends. At night, Brandon turned away from the pretty boy and left him on his side of the bed.

The last 'late night discord call' was months ago. He let Henry's calls ring and would later text saying he had fallen asleep. Henry's smile grew dimmer and dimmer as each ring went unanswered.

He knew something was wrong too. He longed for the first visit. When everything was blissful between them. There were still things they didn't know about each other, Henry was an adventure for Brandon to explore but now Brandon had explored everything he was bored. And that's what scared Henry the most.

The next visit was the 5th, the one where everything fell apart.

He greeted Brandon and Ani at the airport, beaming widely up at Brandon. Brandon grinned back, pulling him into a hug and kissing the top of his head. And for that moment, Henry forgot everything was going wrong because they were together again.

At the house, Henry yawned and leaned his head against Brandon. He sighed, sitting up more. Henry scowled as his head jolted to the side.

"I'm gonna head to bed." He told the two, recieving an 'okay' from Ani as he stood up. Brandon nodded slightly, not tearing his eyes away from the television.

And Henry knew he was stupid, over reacting, being dumb. But he felt a tear prick his eyes because if this was the first visit, Brandon would've noticed he was tired and walked with him to bed or let Henry nap on him.

Henry climbed into bed. Brandon's bed felt cold, and he felt neglected. He curled into a ball, closing his eyes and trying to forget everything that was going wrong.

Brandon trudged up to bed, letting out a sigh when he looked down at Henry curled into his pillow. Where the fuck did we go wrong?

He wishes he could pinpoint the moment where things started going downhill but he can't. He just knows that they're not okay now. And he still cares, of course he cares, he could never not care about Henry, so of course Brandon knows that this is affecting Henry.

If his mind could stop racing for more than a minute maybe he could make a decision. Cut things off with Henry before they got too damaged. Things were already fucked, and they could never go back to 'just friends'. Not after date nights, talking on late nights and forgetting the world. But maybe if he cuts it off now, before he keeps lying to himself and Henry, they'll end up less damaged.

But then he looks back down at the bed, at the beautiful boy laying there, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly. And he's reminded of why and how he fell so deeply in love.

He slid into bed, the covers were cold. Henry was already turned away from him, but he shifted as Brandon moved the bed.

"Brandon?" He asked, sleep tinting his voice. He opened his eyes to the dark room and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Yeah?" Brandon replied, staring at the ceiling. Henry turned over, tucking his head into Brandon's chest. The younger's heart fluttered at the contact, but it wasn't the same as the first times.

"I love you." Henry's voice wavered a bit. He bit his wobbling lip as tears rimmed his half lidded eyes.

"I love you." He lied. A sob escaped Henry's mouth. Brandon rubbed his shoulder.

"D-don't." He muttered, eyes still glazed over with tears as he stared ahead. His head still rested on Brandon. "I know you're lying."

Brandon let out a deep sigh.

"I-I'm confused, Hen." He said, honestly, hand still subconsciously rubbing Henry's shoulder.

"About loving me?" Henry asked bluntly. Brandon stayed quiet. "You can tell the truth. Please don't lie to me again."

"I met this boy online. The first time he sent me pictures I thought I was getting catfished because he was so pretty. And then years of video calling, messaging, getting closer and closer and then we met. Really met. That week when we were really together was the best week of my life. I... I've never felt more happy. He was so..." Brandon paused. Henry shivered, bottom lip still wobbling as silent tears were leaking from his eyes. "I-i don't know where I went wrong. Or were we went wrong. Or who changed. But nothing has ever felt the same since that first night. And I'm scared, Henry, because I don't feel that way anymore."

Silence filled the room for a minute. Brandon nervously bit his lip.

"You fell in love with an idea." Henry finally said, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"What?"

"An idea, that's what I was. You started talking to a boy, a boy who was different than everyone else. He had long hair and he's from England, isn't that fancy? But then you met the idea and he didn't live up to it." Brandon's silence confirmed his thoughts. "But I didn't fall in love with an idea. I fell in love with you, and I'm fucking stupid for doing that." Tears silently slid down his face and on to  Brandon's shirt.

"I don't... You weren't ready, for this. And maybe I'll get lucky and if you do work out that this was love you'll let me know."

"Henry... I-" Henry shushed him.

"Please don't say anything else. I get it. Really." Henry moved off his chest to sit up. The slight light coming from a street lamp caused them to be able to see a little bit. Brandon could see the tears on his face. Henry leaned down and kissed his cheek. He smiled a bit, turning back to his original spot in the bed, back to Brandon, before he could watch more tears fall.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

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(FUCK writing all that fluff has made me soft)