Foster Brothers

I Should Have Noticed

Today is the last day josh is going to be staying in our dorm. He's moving out to his own tomorrow, I'm going to miss him. I know its the same place but... It's not the same as waking up with him on the floor or in my bed.

"Mal! Wake up" I opened my eyes instantly because I was not sleeping.

'' Yes! I'm up, what's wrong?"

"Good morning " what the fuck he almost gave me an heart attack, jerk. If he pull one of these stunts again I will go full captain marvel on his ass.

But not the face, its too gorgeous. "Its our last day together, not literally but you want I mean, come on"

Ugh!

"You know what?, I can't wait until you move out" he held his chest pretending to be hurt, oh did I hurt your feelings? Well you hurt mine.

"With that breath your hurting everyone's feelings" oh no he didn't.

"Mal, go brush your teeth"

"No!''

"Why?"

"I know you're going to kiss me, not brushing my teeth will prevent that" I said showing my tongue.

Fine!, I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I brush my teeth and went back outside.
He's grinning, why is he grinning? This sick bitch grins and smiles for everything.

"So..."

So... What? If he thinks he's getting nothing he made the saddest mistake of his life.

"Come here" nope not falling for that again. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me on the bed kissing all over my neck and face.

He got excited so fast, I could feel the bulge in his pants. No mister, I'm not losing my virginity like this. He kissed me, the kiss got more intense and I gave him full access to my mouth. He taste like... Alcohol? What the.

Oh this feels so good, he sucked on my bottom lip.

Moan

Moan

"Josh? " I jumped off josh so quickly I landed on the floor. Don't tell me its, I looked up..

Karen and Robert.

I smiled showing all whites. When did they get in here, did they saw everything?. Now there going to hate me even more, good going mal.

Great! Know I'm talking to myself as the third person. "Hi guys" hi guys that's so stupid why on earth would I say that.

I stood and they watched me, awkward!.

"Josh, a word please" Karen said using a intimidating tone. I started shaking instantly.

I sat there on the floor, I need to know what they are talking about. I tip toed to the door and placed my ears on it.

I heard Karen talking, I can't hear. "Mom, I'm fine"

"No, you're not " what is Karen talking about, josh is fine I would know if he's not.

"Okay, just take the medications " medications? What is josh not telling me.

Groan

There coming back, I ran to my bed. They open the door and entered the room. Karen looked at me, "Mal good morning " thank god she's not mad.

Sigh

"Good morning Karen "

They left as fast as they got here. Josh looked sad, what! josh is never sad.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

Josh looked down into his lap embarrassed. I moved closer to him and sat next to him. I looked into his eyes, don't you dare avoid my gaze. Josh is making my heart beat fast, he can't speak. But I want him to speak, I want to know what's wrong.

"Babe, don't be afraid, tell me!''

He turned faced me and looked into my eyes. "I've been drinking and taking drugs" my heart skipped a beat. What? This is why I tasted alcohol in his mouth.

But I didn't notice, I feel like my whole world just crash into my face and my life has ended.

I released his hands and stood, I need to clear my head.

I took up my phone and rushed out the door " Mal, I'm sorry" Josh i heard josh screaming as I ran thru the door...I didn't want to hear it.

I looked up into the sky its almost noon. How did I never notice? I should have notice.

I never see him smoke or drink. I mean last week he got pretty mad on some guy, but only because he was calling us fags.
I hate myself, I hate this.

I want to cry, I want to scream. I ruined his life and I ruined mine. I sat on my bench, I'm hungry.

"Mal" I look to see josh walking towards me with food... Yes! I really want food. He always know what to do.

He sat next to me, "Josh you need to go, I want to be alone right now" his eyes widen in shock. I mean it I have ruined him enough.

But I really want the food... fine!.

"Why?''

"What?"

"Why did you do it?"

"I didn't want to, but everyone keep pressuring me. I felt like I was in hells prison. You think I wanted to  do it, well that's where your wrong " I know he had a rough time coming out to everyone like that and have to deal with it all by himself, Being expose in school is hard.

But that is no excuse.