Blurry Face [Completed]

Chapter 13 - The Conversation

Trust. It's the foundation of true friendships. At least they say it is. Yet here I am, in a situation where trust is the thing that is broken, between closest friends at that.

I speak up, " Yeah, we do. Privately." I motion with my eyes to the people sitting quietly around us, beggining to walk in.

She gets the gist, nodding and continuing with her activities in silent tension as I continue with mine. The rest of the day kept feeling as if walking on the tip of a bloody knife, knowing you can easily get impales like the one before you. Nothing to do but continue to struggle. I awaited the end of the day like a ticking time bomb. When the final bell rang, I darted out of my final class to my vehicle, hoping tk get this over with as soon as possible, because I couln't hand being away from her emotionally. Kacey was everything to me, she was what comforted me in my darkest times, the one who corrected me when I did stupid things, she was the responsible one. I was the impulsive idiot. I waited for her in the car and we drove a silent ride home.

Pulling into the garage, I went ahead and silently prepared in my mind. The tension was sufficating and I didn't even know where I'd start on the topic.

Should I address my apology first? No, then it would be a 'calm before the storm' bullshit.

Address if she feels okay? I did hit her really hard.

Talk about how she didn't tell me she worked with the Wolves Corp.? Has she not told me everything?

Talk about how I not only was involved with beating her, but was the cause of it? Then again, that was just because I wanted her to not wake up while i was away to get suspicious.

We enter my apartment and unpack and undress, we put away things in my drawer since there's nothing to hide anymore from what we carry. I remove my clothes and pack, she removes her holster within the black skater skirt she wore today, revealing a .55 on her hip and a blade within her sleeve of her pastel purple hoodie.

I sigh and quickly run to the bathroom to finish changing. I didn't want to see her completely undress...Despite having seen her already.

Why am I thinking about in this moment? I put on my silky red pjs, washing my face with just water over and over until my face is back to its normal temperature.

Back into the bedroom, I sit on the bed next to Kacey, her face gloomy as she looks at the rough grey carpeting of the room.

"How much did you see?" She asked quickly, tightening her knuckles until they turned white.

"Huh?" I asked, stunned from how she started the conversation.

"How. much. did. you. see? Do you need it any slower?" She says, shutting her eyes tight.

She's biting her tounge, is she holding something back?

I glance at her, lifting her chin so she doesn't look at the floor. I gaze into her hazel eyes, noticing they seem to mirror not only worry, but sadness. My heart shatters in that very moment, seeing that gaze.

I sigh and let go, not being able to look her in the eye anymore. I can't do this. I'm the one at fault, not her. She was just trying to protect her identity. It's my fault.

"Goodnight. I'm heading out for a drive." I say in a rush as I put on a hoodie and slip jeans over my pajamas.

Boots back on, I grab my keys and bolt out of the house. I lock the door behind me and run to my familiar Ford, touching the cool handle and tugging at it as I unlock the door. I slam the door behind me and quickly get out of the area. I head south towards the coast until all that surrounded me was a forest of trees. I went down the familiar winding road between the trees where I had found a path doable my car, rolling ny windows down. An earthy scent hits me as I gaze uo at the clear sky, barely touched by light polution the further I drive. The stars seemed to twinkle greetings towards me as I reach the cliff. I park at the edge before the small clearing where I built a rickety fence so many summers ago when I hadn't worked during a special break. My favorite tree was still in tact, a netted swing hanging from a large thick branch. I swung in it as the ocean mist begin filling my senses with the soothing lapping of waves and in the distance, sounds of crickets chirping echoed. It was a perfect spot between two biomes that I had found and made it into my spot when I have troubles. I can think with a clear mind here.

What am I going to tell her though? She's never seen me like that, let alone storm out. All that time I had joked around with Violet with the threats and how she always had my back as a fellow job comrade, she was my best friend all along. It's only right if I give her an explanation. Do I apologize first?  What did she mean by how much did I see?

Wait.

Did she mean when she woke up with all the better clothes and I undressed her?

I shake my head and slap my face to gain some sense. I looked up at the gleaming stars in hope for answers. The 29th of this month, a meteorite shower should be visible, about 60 meteorites should show per hour I believe. I should bring Stacey here. If we get over this, that is.

No, I have to talk to her. I'm the one who cause the problem, so it's mine to fix.

With one last glance and the ocean reflecting the reflection of the further darkening sky, I head back. I had been there so long, it was already 8pm. I speed through the roads back and finally arive. I rush into the apartment back into my room and burst in, dropping everything I have and locking the door behind me as quickly as I could. Without delay, I slam open the door where Kacey sat in the same spot she was left staring at the floor. As she begins ti look up, I rush in and jump on her, hugging her with everything I have.I hold her down with that hug and quietly begin to talk, my arms still around her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you where I worked before you moves in. I'm sorry for messing with what you ate that night. I'm sorry for causing your beating. I'm sorry for not holding back as I should have. I'm sorry for not fully protecting you. I'm sorry for seeing you..naked..without your permission. I'm sorry for not treating you how you should be treated, you deserve tbe world. Thank you for being there for me. Both as Kacey and Violet. I care about you and will be there for you from now on if you let me, not only that, but i will support you on any choice you have within reason. I promise." I breath out, tightening my hold on her waist as she begins to shake in in my arms.

A muffled sob is choked onto my shoulder as I feel my shoulder dampen a little through my clothing. I rub her back gently as she lets go of everything she had been holding in. I hold her until she falls asleep. I shift out from under her arms and go shower from the tiring day.

I rinse away the grime, I rinse away the pain, I rinse away the lies, I rinse away everything until all my thoughts reside in Kacey, her face almost seemigly in front of me, blurry, but clearing. A blurry face now turning clear as day to who I think she is to me now.

I didn't feel like cutting in the shower this time. Stacey has been eating. Everything seems to be getting better.

Walking back into the room, I wiggle under Kacey's arms. Looking at her face, I begin to close my eyes.

Damn. I think I love her.