Get the regret over

Last Vision for Last

“Last Vision for last” song by Faylan,
Opening theme of 『百花繚乱 サムライガールズ』”Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girl”

Get the regret over
Chapter 4
Last Vision for Last

James D. Maslow

“Congratulation, Kendall!” I yelled happily, fair to say I was lying from the bottom of heart. Yeah, congratulation for breaking your promise! You said you swear you will only look at me. Now I will have my vision of you for the last!

“Thanks, buddy! You’re the best!” He hugged me, while I didn’t hold him back as usual. I only eyed the screen. “So will you be my groomsman on my wedding?” I was so hammered, being his groomsman? Err…I must think about it for thousand times because I was already planning to not attending on your wedding day…I mentally slapped myself. I must not being selfish! I have to be happy for him, for real! Throw away your jealousy and arrogance. You have to let go!

“Kendall, do you honestly love Jo with all your heart?” I automatically asked. I wanted to convince that he didn’t left any feeling for me, so probably I’d be capable motivate myself with confidence.

“Of course I do! Jo is the love of my life!” He responded proudly. I smacked my lips and babbled out.

“Are you sure about that?” Misleading myself, I supposed to stay calm regardless I turned into an ice storm—cold and turbulent. Kendall certainly sensed something strange within me. Seriously, I was such fool for being consumed by my own emotion.

“Why are you asking? Am I typically a cheater?” Whoa! Great! He provoked me with his own words, not 100% my fault, okay? He divulged such a thing beyond my guess. Consequently I still tried to calm down and supported him.

“No you're not. You're such sweet guy. I only warn you that marriage is not an easy thing to deal, it's not 'happily ever after' much like in fairy tale used to be. You have to prepared your heart, your mind and your soul to face many problems those after you later.” It was and advice that actually leaded to a prevention.  It appeared there's a mistake within my phrase or perhaps the way I voiced it.  Kendall was suddenly getting angry and punched me right on face. As the result, we both lost our ratio and consumed by our sentiment.

“How dare you?! I thought you were my best friend?! What’s wrong?! Are you jealous because I have a beautiful fiancée who loves me so much while you have no one on your side? You double-crosser!” Oh my, Kendall was totally hypercritical douche bag! I thought he was figuring what I had in mind. I only gave you advice, goddamn it!

Yes, I admitted, I have nobody on my side as a girlfriend, a partner, a lover, a spouse…but sorry to say, I am not jealous just because you have someone like Jo. She’s definitely not my type! And seriously?! You marked me as double-crosser!? You’re the one who dumped me because you’re having eyes for Jo! You’re the one who had betrayed me!

That’s it! I claim my feeling as dead corpse that had been eaten by bunch of crows. I am free to spread my broken wings and fly to the blue sky. I thought Kendall can fix it, but he even makes it worse. However I am so relieved, with his misperception, I can finally realize how immature he is and I don’t need someone childish like him to be my partner.

“I am not jealous with you at all.” I said, covering my red cheek that was being hit by him. “I always set my eyes only for you, but you left me out, you threw me away when the first time you met Jo! I bore the pain, I managed to control my emotion, keeping my smile on face though I was hurt inside so madly and struggled forcing myself to be happy just for you! And this is how you pay me?! Can’t you even give me a little respect?! Get lost, Kendall! I don’t want to see again!”