COUNTDOWN | seungbin ✔️

six

three days had passed since the kissing incident changbin and seungmin had shared together. seungmin won't lie but he still blushes whenever he thinks about it.

seungmin has noticed something off with changbin lately. the older had been trying to distant himself from the younger. he tried not to make it that obvious but seungmin was sensitive enough to realise.

changbin would deny all of seungmin's invites to hang out, he would leave the younger on seen every time he texted him and he would avoid the younger in school.

this hurt seungmin more than he thought it would. seungmin couldn't go back to jisung, felix or jeongin because they had gotten used to seungmin not being with them and instead being with the elder.

seungmin sighed as he walked into school. was i not a good kisser?

if seungmin recalled correctly, the number above changbin's head should be six now. yup, i wasn't wrong. seungmin thought to himself as he saw changbin walk past, obviously ignoring him again. above changbin's head were the numbers "six".

seungmin felt the same feeling of hurt, the feeling of rejection. it made seungmin feel worthless and it makes him feel unloved. am i not worthy of attention, love and care? am i just a useless being to changbin and he doesn't actually care at all? maybe i was just being used. seungmin felt a tear roll down his already puffy cheeks from all the crying he has previously done over the span of three days. before seungmin knew it, the tears he had been holding in bust forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. he felt the muscles of his chin tremble like a small child and he looked directly up, making eye contact with the one who had caused these tears.

changbin's face had a sense of..guilt? why would he feel guilty, he was doing it intentionally.

the younger did not give changbin any time to react and immediately rushed to the bathroom, pushing past all the people in the hallway.

brick by brick, seungmin's walls came tumbling down. as he was sped walked to the bathroom, the tears in his eyes turned the coincidentally rainy day into a whirl wind of greys and yellows. there was this static in his head once more, the side effect of this constant paranoia, constant stress seungmin was dealing with over the days. seungmin heard his own voice, like a distressed child, raw from the inside, reminding him of all his negative thoughts he had accumulated. it took something out of seungmin he never knew he had left to give. that was the way it was when people are hard. it was like a theft of seungmin's spirit, an injury no one could see, not even seo changbin.

seungmin slammed into the bathroom door. he didn't care who saw. he just broke down. the sobs punched through, ripping through his muscles, bones and guts. he pressed his forehead against the grimy stall door and began to let his heart yank in and out of his chest. it pulled back in like a yo yo. over and over. in and out. he was hollow. his life crumbled in his fingertips.

eventually, he had calmed down. deep breaths seungmin, deep breaths. was what kept him going, he repeated that like a mantra. he had calmed down to the foul stench of the bathroom and not the comfort of his friends or the welcoming arms of changbin.

seungmin then decided on camping in the bathroom until the end of the school day. he wasn't particularly keen on seeing the elder, knowing he would have another breakdown.