Pencil Shavings (a Genderfluid story) - COMPLETED

Chapter One: Two Sides At Once

I looked at the mirror and closed my eyes, dreading the sight I saw. 

Mom would be furious if I didn't wear a dress that day. I had to be "lady like" and act like a proper woman. But I wasn't a woman. 

I wasn't even close to a woman. I was genderfluid, but even when I felt like a "woman," I wasn't lady like. I was probably the opposite.

Finally, I picked a black T-Shirt with a picture of a famous rock band on it. I put on a pair of ripped jeans from football and my green Nike tennies.

I sat down as I took off my finger nail polish. I smiled as I cut my hair into a super short pixie cut.

No makeup today. Probably no makeup for a while.

Finally I looked at myself in the mirror.

Perfect.

"Anna!" my mother called. "Will you please come down for breakfast?"

I groaned. My name is Ty. It's kind of amazing how oblivious she is. And I can't tell her.

I stomped downstairs, then seeing Mom, I covered my head with the hoodie I wore.

"Hey Anna. Will you please take that damn hood off?"

"No."

Mom sighed. "Eat."

I sat down and started eating the pancakes that she had prepared.

I felt the hood come off my head and loud laughter, then some gasping.

"You...cut your hair?" Mom asked, her hand on her chest like it always was when she was shocked.

My little brother Carlos and my older sister, Kate, stood there. Kate just smiled at me knowingly.

I blushed and stared at my plate. "Yeah, Mom. I wanted it short."

"You have no make up on! No fingernail polish! Oh. My. God." Mom sat down and ran her hands through her hair.

"What's the big deal?" Kate asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. "It's her appearance. Not yours." She squeezed my shoulder as Mom looked up.

"I know. But - but that's not how a lady looks," she replied, putting her head in her hands again.

Maybe it's because I'm not a lady.

How I wish I could have said that aloud.

"Maybe I'm not that lady-like," I snapped. Mom huffed.

"I figured that out a long time ago, Anna."

There's that name again.

"Ty, get up. We can eat at school," Kate whispered.

"Thank you," I whispered back. And I meant for calling me Ty and for being so kind to me. She grinned.

"Well," she said to Mom. "We're eating at school. We're already late as it is."

Mom sighed, rolling her eyes. "Okay. Go. Go eat and have fun."

Kate smiled and grabbed my hand and picked up little Carlos.

"I'll have to drop him off at preschool Ty. Okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

We got in the car, and being nineteen, Kate had one of her own.

She dropped off Carlos at the preschool, as she said, and drove me to my own school.

"Thanks," I said, smiling. "See you later."