RoadTrip oneshots: reader

| Andy | listen before i go |

Warning: suicide and depression are two central themes in this, please skip if this will affect you and always remember you are not alone x

Part 1

Empty.

Empty is the only thing that comes close to describing how I feel.

The sound of my feet on the concrete echos with each step I take. Each step takes me closer to the roof top, closer to the end.

The paper clutched between my fingers feels heavy, the weight of my life scattered across the page. My fingertips trace over the indents in the smooth surface, running over the words that I didn't have the heart to say.

I reach top of the car park, releasing a sigh of relief seeing that it was empty of cars. I didn't have the energy to talk.

A cool breeze brushed against my skin, the coldness oddly soothing.

The sky above inky black, even the moon hiding away behind a thick blanket of clouds, almost as if it knew what I had planned.

I reach the wall surrounding the edge of the building.

I could see everything.

That's why I came here.

I wanna see the world when I stop breathing.

Lights of every colour shine below me. Headlights move as cars drive along, traffic lights flickering as they change. Shop windows are illuminated, giving off warm orange glows to entice people in from the cold.

I don't know how long I stand there, just looking. I know the longer I wait, the greater the risk of discovery.

It's really not that hard, I just need to get onto the wall and then lean forward.

My eyes are drawn away from the mesmerising lights as I look down at the paper in my hands, the wind making it rustle.

I place it on the wall, holding it down so it doesn't get blown away in the wind. I bring the bottom edge up to the top, carefully lining them up. I press down onto the wall, forming the crease in the paper. I repeat the action again. I let my fingers run over the delicate material once more before putting it into my pocket.

They'll find it eventually.

I let out a long breath, my heart rate beginning to increase. My palms begin to sweat as my body registers what I'm about to do, it's survival instincts starting to kick in.

I manage to get one leg up over the wall. The sound of blood pumping in my ears drowns out the sounds of city life below me. I twist and bring my other leg over too and sit on the edge of the wall.

On the edge of the world.

My knuckles turn white from my grip on the wall. My heart is screaming against my chest, begging me not to. I don't care.

I just need it to stop.

I just need everything to stop.

"Excuse me?"

I freeze.

Maybe I imagined it.

Maybe it's a sign.

"Are you okay?"

The voice sounds closer.

I stay rigid, silently praying the voice wasn't real.

My prayers weren't answered as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jumped from the sudden contact.

It happened so fast.