We Couldn't Get Along Without Ya

21

"What have you been thinking?" Two-Bit inquired.

"Well it's just that, I think I need to stop cutting." I announced, seeing all of their faces immediately light up. "I don't particularly want to, but if I don't get a handle on all of this, things are going to get worse."

"Katie, I'm so glad you can see that. That's great." Darry smiled, all the guys agreeing.

"But listen to me now, it's not as easy as just, well, stopping. It'd be like if Two tried to stop drinking or if Dally wanted to quit smoking. It's hard and there's gonna be times I'm going to want to relapse and just cut until I can't anymore. So that means I'm gonna need help."

"That's what we're here for." Pony grinned.

"Well, good. But now I don't know where to start with this." I admitted.

"I have an idea." Steve spoke up, surprising everyone, myself included.

"Really?" Soda asked him.

"Yeah, I'm not as dumb as I look. The way I see it, someone has to be with her 24/7. That way, ya know, she can't sneak around and cut. And, no sharp things left out."

"I don't agree with the last part." Dally cut in.

"What?" Pony asked him, having once in his life been agreeing with Steve.

"It's living in fake reality. She's gotta learn to be around that stuff and control the urge." Two-Bit elaborated for him. "But, taking away her blade is different, and probably a good idea."

"Okay, we can do this." Soda smiled at me. And I knew they could, they were the ones this wasn't going to be a challenge for. It was me I was apprehensive about. Could I really stop? Was I strong enough?

And suddenly something rang in my head: you don't have to stop cutting if you're dead. if you kill yourself, all your problems go away.

"Great, I'm glad we have this figured out. I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." I said quickly, trying to get away.

"Alone, huh?" Dally asked, eyebrows raised as he blocked the doorway.

"Okay, I have to be by myself sometimes." I specified, trying to get out of the room, but being stopped by Dally.

"Do you actually need to go to the bathroom or do you just need to take a minute?" Two-Bit asked me. Damn, Two knew exactly what I was thinking half the time.

"Uh, the second thing." I mumbled.

"Okay, me and you, front porch. Let's go, kid." He said, leading the way.

Once we got outside, we sat on the steps and he looked at me. "What happened?"

"I was just thinking that I'm not strong enough to stop cutting and then I thought, hey if I'm dead, I don't have to stop and all these problems go away. I don't know, Two, it's like I can't control my own damn thoughts sometimes. Like, I don't want to think that way, but the option is always there so I will always come back to it." I explained as unwanted tears rolled down my cheeks.

"No, that option isn't always there because it's not an option. That is not an option you have. Sorry, but no. Your problems don't go away when you die, they get put on the people who are still alive and miss you like hell. And I know damn well you're strong enough to stop cutting. You are the toughest girl I've ever met. I mean, cmon, you once gave Steve a black eye for eating the last piece of cake!"

We laughed for a second, remembering Steve's shock after I hit him. At least he can take a punch.

"Bottom line: you've got this and you are under 24/7 watch. You are not killing yourself, ok? You're not dying and you're not leaving us. You can't. We couldn't get along without ya." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

Hey there everyone! Just wanted to let y'all know I published a new book called Outsiders Imagines and Stuff if any of you wanna check it out! :)