The Oceanless Squid

Defeat { 3 }

    Villette can't put into words how disappointed she is with her team, but most importantly, how disappointed she is with herself. SHE was the one in charge. SHE was the one that was supposed to make sure that absolutely everything about this project goes right. Without Musham or her eggs, the BSP will shut them down without a blink of an eye. They will all lose their careers and will be casted out as shameful and awful scientists. And the only person she can really blame is herself.

    As Villette trudged her way back home, she couldn't help the deep and heavy frown that covered her face. The five minute walk from the lab to her apartment had now felt like years had gone by. Each step added more weight and she swore her dead grandmother would be able to walk faster than she was right now. She could feel the corners of her mouth connecting to her chin and her throat start to burn.

    I can't cry while I'm out in public, she thought, if anyone from my team saw me like this, I may never be respected again. She took a deep inhale and blinked her eyes several times to try and repress her emotions. By the time she was just a few steps from her door, her techniques had begun to fail and she could feel the choked sobs in the bottom of her throat. She walked quicker to her door and struggled to grab the right key as her hands shook.

    "Damn it, come on!" she snapped at herself. Villette finally grabbed the right key and quickly tried to unlock her door. Her tears were starting to cloud her vision and her frustration grew even more.

    She finally unlocked her door and rushed herself inside. She slammed the door and pressed her body against it. She poorly attempted to hang her purse and coat on the hangers by the door and was livid when she heard them hit the floor. She groaned loudly and threw herself onto her couch that was nearby. She could slowly feel years of ignored emotions resurfacing and her heart physically hurt. The defeat she had felt was so strong she was sure it was just a giant monster sitting on her chest and flicking her forehead every few seconds to remind her that it existed.

    She loudly sobbed into her pillow and let out a few yells as well, she lived alone and had the liberty to be as loudly depressed as she wanted to. She continued to cry into the pillow until her face became incredibly hot and it became hard to breathe. Villette put the pillow back, then flipped it around when she saw her tears had stained it slightly and sat up straight. She took slow and deep breaths and made her way to the bathroom.

    She flicked on the light and was appalled by her reflection. Her entire face was red, her nose looked like she had a cold, and her eyes looked like she had an allergic reaction to something. She blew her nose before grabbing a washcloth and wetting it. She gently dabbed her face with the cold cloth and folded it up to lay on her eyes for a moment. After relaxing, Villette decided to bathe and put on comfortable clothes.

    Now that she was freshly washed and in her pajamas, Villette was more than ready to just go to sleep.  As she walked back into the living area, she walked over to the front door to lock it and pick up her purse and coat. She grabs her phone and sees 5 new messages flash onto her screen. She unlocks her phone and sees they're from different members of her team, and one was from her mom. Three of the seven members had texted her an apology about losing Musham and the eggs while one had texted her to ask if she was okay. All of  Villette's energy was completely gone, but she knew that she couldn't ignore that one message. Swen, after all, was her closest friend.

    Villette unlocked her phone and went to her messages. She read Swen's message and watched as a few more came through.

    "Villette, please answer before I have to come over there"

    "I know how hard you treat yourself, and this was not something that any of us could have possibly predicted"

    "Okay, I know you're reading my messages.."

    Villette smiled lightly at that one. She began typing her response to Swen. Ever since Villette had met them in college, the two had always managed to stay close -- even though their personalities were almost complete opposites.

    "Alright, alright, you caught me. This whole situation is just unbelievable to me, we just found out that Musham and Liros finally completed breeding and now we lost Musham and the eggs. It just, really, really sucks."

    After she sends her message, Villette begins making her way around her home and turning off the lights. She then used the flashlight on her phone to slowly make her way down to her bedroom. Once her door was closed, she turned the flashlight off and climbed into bed. With only her bedside table on, there was little light in her room.

    Just as she had begun to settle under her covers, she heard her phone ring once. She picked her phone up to check and saw it was Swen. After reading their message, Villette could physically feel some weight being lifted off of her shoulders. In just a few sentences, Swen had managed to cheer her up.

    Villette continued to text Swen for a few more minutes before telling them that they need to go to sleep to ensure that they both are productive tomorrow.

    After setting her phone back on her nightstand, Villette quickly layed back down and tried to hurry the process of sleeping. She knew that if she let herself stay up any longer, she would likely start to nuture her self-doubt and just restart the cycle that Swen had managed to slow down.

  Hey lovelies, yeah I added a bit more to this chapter. I know Villette is supposed to be super quirky and completely hate the idea of emotions and interacting with people, but like, come on past me, everybody loves Swen.