I look up
Tears steaming
What is this
What is the meaning
I'm physically tired
I emotionally drained
I'm still trying
To continue to reign
The thoughts in my head, louder than the rain
There's some kinda idea I can't explain, pulsing through my veins and it's hurting my brain
"Please leave me" I exclaimed
"I'm just trying to make my name
I'm trying to
Be the person I never had
Be way ben Carson never did
A neurosurgeon
Into science
Then a politician
Get the fame under my name so I can make that change
Fix the world up when it's fixed up strange
i want the fame not for the same reason as everyone else
I have a pencil and a paint brush under my belt
Have a dream for a while that needs to come out
So what if i lost the photographer opportunity
So what if I lost a hobby
I can till move up
Move out
Make the world my stage, it'll come about
Make people happy
And and feel something too
Because that monster that wouldn't leave me
The depression that hurt me to that degree
The strangled please help me that was said as a plea
A cry
A question as to why
I'm still left in bed regretting the words I said
On that day
On that month
I said what I said to the person who hurt
The vile smirk
That formed on their face and formed a quirk
My parents
Disgusted
By the child that they had raised
The child that hated to keep them awake
The child that was an obvious gold digger if you weren't aware
Because if your poor and depressed it must be money
That must be it
Because what else
Would the poor girl cry about
The actions people have shown to her?
Maybe the act of people that deter
The compelling willingness to do something
No sorry
She's a gold digger
Maybe the fact that she never asks for presents
Can't ask for a dime for her self
No birthday presents because it feels wrong
I wanna self earn but I'm just headstrong
Who knows maybe they were right all along"
I was full on crying as I shook my head
"These tears are just misleading
It seems as if I'm jealous of those who went ahead
But I'm proud of them
Disappointed in me
Because despite trying to be happy
I'm just not
But that's fine
Making others is what I'll do with my time
I wanted to help anyway
It works out"
The ball of darkness' reply was stout
For this darkness has a reply he can't leave without
"You believe that you can try
You really try to pass infront of my eye
It seems that I can't see you
But a part of you I am
See a twisted part of me wants to play a game
Let's see who can stay the longest and be able to speak their name
For it I win
You die
But if I loose
You can say good bye
To the darkness you had but honestly it's not THAT bad
I quite enjoyed it
Seeing you fall
But of my reply this isn't the last of all
Your parents have a right
You are a gold digger
I'm saying this knowing it will trigger
Your demise
I would like to see you fall over your poor wet eyes
The about of tears spent can kill
That is the reason for me
My will
So good luck trying
For I know I will win
And watch yourself crumble over the challenge i bring"
..
