Sanem and Can- A new Story

Part- 12 Reassured!

Can POV

In the past few minutes, my mind seems to be running faster then the speed of light, with about a thousands of thoughts running in my head back to back! Making me literally go crazy the past few minutes which seemed like a lifetime. I know she doesn't fully feel at ease with me which makes my fear take over, what if she never falls in love with me. I know I'm asking a bit too much now and even overreacting. BUT!!!!

I am an highly emotional man, and Sanem masks her emotions most of the time. Like she has put that wall between us. I know she doesn't trust me, though I know the reason is healthy, of course she is not going to trust a man in a minute who she has just met, an obvious stranger to her world, but yet I want her to trust me, let herself lose, be free with me. Am I asking too much or am I hasting too much? Well I know the answer is the latter, yes I am hurrying! I know my insecurities are taking the better of me. BUT!!!

When I told her that I will take her along with me when I go outside Sydney, she was quite getting me worried almost immediately, what if she is yet adamant and doesn't want to continue this marriage. Will I be able to agree with her? Will I let her go? No NEVER!!! Even if she hates me for it but I will never let her go away from me!

Thinking back about our first kiss, what if she felt obligated to kiss me back?! What if she thought it was her duty to give in to me? No, no, she said she liked it, she was even comfortable with me not showing any remorse or regret. BUT!!

Then I think something unwanted was told to her which made her talk about sex, leaving her petrified and me freaked out seeing her in tears. Well it hurt me when she thought I would make her give it to me if she likes it or not. Does she think so low of me? Does she think I can do this to her? Did she really think I will force her??!!! The very thing she thought that way about me had sent creeps down my spine!! Hurting me deep that she didn't trust me, YET!

BUT am I the reason of her distrust, maybe I went overboard with wanting to be near her, like intertwining our fingers, hugging her, cupping her face, holding onto her tightly when sleeping and not letting go when wide awake, teasing her deliberately, then of course kissing her or just practically wanting to be close to her! But I have a right I am her HUSBAND! Thinking twice what I just thought, I reprimand myself, Bravo! Can Divit Bravo! You are proving your wife right when she said that I contradict my own words! I have told her "Though I'm her husband, but that does not mean that I can violate her decisions or go against her own right over her own body even as her own husband", making me wonder even more whether she likes me touching her in the first place! Now that makes me feel more sick wondering what her answer will be, Uff!!!!! But I will talk to her about this also.

When she tells me that she will never let me go and even promised me too, I felt a great weight out of my heart. It was as if it would be crushed any minute if she said no to me. Even the thought her saying no makes me so frightened.

Hugging Sanem even tighter, I bury my face in her neck, which calms me immediately. She hugs me with equal fervor, which is like an assurance to me. In this few minutes I realized one thing for sure, I have fallen in love with Sanem! I had gone mad for her the day I saw her photo, the photo baba showed me before meeting her personally at her father's house! I yet remember when my heart skipped a beat when she came with the tray of coffee. At that time I thought it was just an attraction, but now I know my heart has fallen deep. I have never experienced this before. Its like I am having great difficulty breathing without her.

Pulling away from her I cup her face, Sanem I need to tell you something. She nodded encouraging me to continue. I don't know what happened so suddenly that made you get so scared and think so low about me that I would make you sleep with me even if you didn't want it. But I think maybe I was also the cause of your fear. I kissed you suddenly, then I do get close to you most of the time, then hugging you suddenly, like even now cupping your face and getting you close to me, I don't even ask you whether you like it or not.