letter six

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So, what is life about? What makes being in this world for 100 years' worth it? I don't have the answer. I am completely and hopelessly lost. Hopeless, literally. Hope is absent in my life. I can hope to be happier, I guess. I can hope that I will find a job I like. I can hope that I will find someone who loves me. I can hope to find some meaning in my life. But it's tiring to hope. It's a constant mindset of doing things now for something that may or may not come in the future. I don't want to hope anymore. I am tired. I can't sleep at night. My body aches. My mind and my body are breaking down. How do I find hope again? 

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