State of Mind

Chapter 14

Osvaldo's POV

My morning started off pretty well actually. I woke up with a spring in my step and eager to get to work on my father's jobs. Already smelling the whiff of breakfast being made downstairs, I happily entered the kitchen and sat down at the table, making conversation with my mother; the usual. Then the topic of Ava popped up and, well, let's just say I tried to break away from the topic quickly.

My mother, having the curiosity of a cat, tried forcing the truth out of me at an attempt to figure out why I was acting so odd. She practically beat it out of me, so when I decided on finally giving in, I may have not delivered it in the greatest manner. I may have just blurted it out all at once, which allowed many things to be misinterpreted. Within seconds, my mother's demeanor changed and I could tell she was very unhappy with me. How so? My mother screaming and pacing back and forth in the kitchen while I sat at the table as a little boy would, pretty much gives it away.

I wouldn't dare raise my voice at my mother because only the Lord knows what she would do to me if I did. I observed as she got even more upset as she began verbalizing with her hands while yelling at me in Spanish.

"¡Qué hombre eres! ¿Sabes lo estúpido que eres, ¿verdad? ¡Oh Dios mío, no puedo creer que hayas sido tan idiota!"- (What a man you are! Do you know how stupid you are, do you!? Oh my goodness, I can't believe you have been this much of an idiot!)

She took a break from her ramting with her hands on her hips, pacing her breathing. She still clearly looked upset and worst of all, angry, which wasn't in my mother's nature. She walked over to the table and pulled up a chair to sit down next to me. Her arms were crossed as she sat there, loudly tapping her foot on the ground, waiting for me to explain what had happened.

"Well, I am waiting, Osvaldo," she said with a snare.

What had me worried was the fact she called me by my name, Osvaldo. Back home, mothers call their sons by a nickname rather than their actual names. It soon became an indication to children that if their mother was upset with them, you were called by your name; not your nickname.

"Ma, I really don't need a counseling session right now. Look, I have to..."

In my attempt to rise from my chair, she grabs my arm and pulls me back down to sit. I sat there with my eyes awkwardly wide open as she gave me her devil eyes. Yes, my mother who is an angel is giving me the devil eyes.

"I just let it slip ma, I didn't mean to say it. I didn't want to purposely get her upset, that was never my intention," I said softly.

She loosened her grip on my arm and her intense stare softened. Now, she gave me a rather disappointed look and sighed.

"Hijo, you cannot do this to her. She has no one, she is completely alone, in her thoughts constantly. Can you imagine losing your entire family in one day, and at such a young age? Thoughts develop and soon your mind can become your worst enemy. I cannot imagine what she has gone through and here you are telling her off like that!"

"Look I..."

"No, I am not finished. You are pushing her limit Osvaldo and for her, that may not be a good thing. You don't know how her mind works nonetheless how much it can handle. You are like me hijo, you see straight through people. But, it is a blessing and a curse so you must use it wisely or bad things can erupt from it."

She placed her hand on mine, squeezing it tightly.

"She is our only hope hijo, you know that. You must make things right with her because she can turn deadly if she wants too. I have seen the temper that runs throughout that family and believe me when I tell you, it is not pretty."