Unwanted (BoyxBoy) ~Completed~

Unwanted Ch.3

Sometimes I think what the reason for me being here is. Like what is my purpose on earth if all I get is hate from others and my future doesn't look any brighter.

I'm not going to school today and thankfully my mom agreed seeing how injured I still was. She offered to stay home and take care of me but I knew we were running tight on money and she couldn't miss a day seeing as they were letting people go at her job.

She was a little hesitant on leaving me alone afraid that I would try to harm myself again but she made me promise not to do anything like that again. I promised but I didn't know if it was a promise capable of being kept.

I got off the bed and made my way towards the bathroom. Dad moved his pills from the medicine cabinet saying and I quote "so you don't try doing something so stupid again." Yeah he's real nice, not. Since I couldn't transfer schools or had another better option, I decided that skipping class would be easier. Of course I couldn't do it everyday because than my parents would get suspicious and the school would probably contact them.

After taking a long hot shower I went back to my room and blasted the radio as loud as it would go. Music always helped me forget my problems. No matter what shit was going on, music was always the answer. I guess it truly soothes your soul, ha ha, that sounded stupid coming from me.

I laid there the rest of the day basically doing nothing. I was glad it was Friday and had two days of freedom. I heard the front door open and footsteps going towards the kitchen. Mom's home. I walked down the stairs and saw my mom talking on her cellphone.

"No I just got home...... I know.... no he promised me he wouldn't do that anymore.......... I'm not going to force him into the program if he doesn't want to Mark. Now bye I'm going to go check on him." She sighed and started walking towards the stairs. I quickly rushed up the stairs and laid on the bed.

I can't believe my dad wanted to force me into that stupid program. At least mom was on my side.

"Luke, hi I'm back. How do you feel?" Mom said walking in my room. Like shit, I wanted to say but decided against it.

"Fine." I said not glancing at her. I mean why do people ask you how you feel when they clearly know the answer. Do I look fine? No.

"Luke, I know that your having trouble in school but you can't let it rule your life. Try making friends or joining in school activities. It'll make school more enjoyable." Yeah right. Nothing could make school more enjoyable.

"Mom you have no idea what I have gone through those first two days of school. You truly don't and if you were in my place, you would understand why I've reacted the way I have. Nothing that you or dad say could make any of this easier on me and dad's probably making it worse." I told her truthfully feeling exhaustion take over and just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up.

"Not the answer I was looking for." She said with a sigh and turned to leave glancing back for a second.

"Hunny I really want to help but I have no idea how. I'll go get started on dinner so go freshen up because today we're eating together. As a family, no complaints." She said and than left my room shutting the door behind her. I sighed and threw myself back on the bed. What am I going to do with myself?

**************

"So Mark. How was work?" Mom asked dad as we were seating at the dinner table later that night.

"Good. Some guy was caught trying to rape a woman but we stopped him in time and locked him up." Dad replied taking a sip of his wine.

"Oh my that poor woman. Was she ok?" Mom asked concerned.

"Yeah. A bit frightened but she was found unharmed."

I just sat there quietly ignoring their conversation and twirling around the spaghetti on my plate.

"Luke will you quit playing with your food and just eat." My dad scowled at me.

"I'm not hungry." I said barely above a whisper.

"What?" He asked starring at me looking irritated.

"I said I'm not hungry." I repeated a little louder. He is still mad for being rude to the doctor and not accepting to be in that damn program.

"Oh please, don't be a waste. Don't you know that there are kids out there your age starving because they don't have food? You have plenty here and your being selfish by just throwing it away." He remarked making me glare at him.

"It's not my fault that they don't have food. And why don't you start worrying about your own son instead huh? Why must you always put others before me? Yes I know I sound selfish right now but you know what? I don't give a fuck. It would be nice to hear that your proud of something I did every once in a while. It would be nice to hear you say you love me or to show me some kind of sign that you actually care. The only time I saw you worried was when I was in that hospital bed. Are those the only times you'll show me attention? When I'm already in a hospital bed all hurt? Well you know what, one of these days you'll be too late and all you'll find on that bed will be my lifeless body." And with that I left the kitchen and headed upstairs.

"Luke Hun, wait." My mom called out but I ignored her. I slammed my bedroom door and plopped down on the bed. Could this day get any worse? Hopefully not or I wouldn't be able to handle it. I grabbed a shirt and a new pair of boxers and headed to take a shower. Third shower today. Yeah I shower when I'm upset. It helps me cool down.

I hate everything. Why can't anything ever be easy for me? I wasn't kidding about what I told my dad. Without a doubt I would probably be ending up in another hospital bed. Hopefully dead. But no freaking way would I tell them. If I did I would be forced into that program and they'd take away any other options for me to escape this torture.

I don't even know why they make those stupid things in the first place. I mean the people there have no idea what kind of life their patients have lived that got them there. They don't know how much pain we feel that gets so strong that death is our only escape. Unless they have actually experienced it, why try to help when they don't understand. And they never will.

After I felt the shower water turning cold from being in there so long, I stepped out and got dressed. When I walked out I bumped against mom, making her jump back. Her face looked really upset and I could tell why.

"Luke you didn't mean what you said down there right?" She asked concern clearly in her voice.

"I don't know ok? Right now I just want to be alone." I told her passing by her.

"Fine but just so you know, your dad does care about you. He just has trouble expressing it sometimes. He's your father and will always love you. Just remember that, alright hunny?"

"Yeah whatever." I replied to her and slammed my door shut. Boy my dad has such strange ways of showing he cares for me than. He's never once showed me any kind of love towards me and that's what I'll never forget.

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