No one ever understands the pain a person can go through unless that person is you. Currently I'm still in the hospital trying to force some nasty looking mash potatoes down my throat. I haven't spoken at all during my stay here and I plan to keep it that way.
Telling them what happened would just mean reliving the torture I just went through a day ago. Yes it's been a day and I'm still stuck here. Fun? No. No one visits except for my parents and that's just making me lonely as hell.
And the bad thing is I'm getting discharged today but right after I'll be heading to that stupid program thingy. So I won't be leaving the hospital at all until like seven at night. Can you imagine being forced to be in a place for four straight hours since it starts at three and feel even worst because you have no choice?
After attempting to force a second spoon of the mash potatoes I toss it to the side in the garbage can and just seat there staring into nothing. My dad hasn't been able to step close to me without me freaking out and the doctor well. He needs to put me to sleep to be able to give me a check up every once in a while. I feel even more messed up than I did before and it's all that stupid asshole's fault.
A while passes by and the only one that's visited is mom and that was to bring me a change of clothes. After changing and taking a quick shower in the bathroom I head out of the room over to the fifth floor. My hands haven't stopped shaking and I don't even know what to expect.
I go over to the elevator, punch in the fifth button, and than lay my head back against the wall closing my eyes. Taking in a deep breath I head back out once it reaches the fifth floor and make my way to a white door in a long narrow hallway.
I step inside and the room becomes deathly silent. Looking around there's a circle of probably fifteen teens and a middle aged woman sitting with them.
"Uh you must be Luke. Come on and pull up a chair." She tells me and I just feel way out of place. Eyes burn my back as I feel the others gaze at me as I turn to get a chair. Could this be anymore awkward?
Sitting next to a kid who looks like he much rather be anywhere else but here lets me at least know I'm not the only one. The rest around me look like they could care less about what the woman was saying and I wondered if this program was even helpful at all?
"Ok so the best thing to do when you feel trapped is to let someone know your problems. So why don't we share some of the things that have triggered these negative thoughts?" Said the lady looking at each of us like we actually would state our problems just out in the open. Nobody made a move to talk which wasn't a surprise.
"Fine than how about this. Each of you grab a partner. These will be your trust buddies for the next two months. I want you guys to be able to trust in each other and I know that will take time. This will help you realize what others have dealt with and you will be able to help each other. By the end of these two months, you all should have experienced a new understanding to life and how facing your problems can help you get through them by having someone who will help." She said again and that just made me nervous.
I didn't want no "trust buddy". I was not good at stating my problems so easily out in the open and none the less to a stranger. The lady paired us up since no one was doing it themselves and I got stuck with the kid next to me.
His name was Andy and he was the most silent out of all the others. I mean the rest didn't talk much but Andy just spent the whole time looking at the floor. His midnight black hair covered his eyes and he had silver snakebites. His skin was so pale that it was nearly as white as a paper and it looked like he hadn't eaten in days.
I wasn't looking forward to having to have to spend time with him for the next two months but there was nothing I could do. I said hi and all I got back was silence.
"Look I know you don't talk much but if this whole trust shit is going to work out you at least have to have some input in it." I told him receiving nothing back. Ok fine by me. It's not like I wanted to do this in the first place. The next two hours were spent exactly like that. Him staring into space and me just sitting impatient ready to get the hell out of there.
By the time the clock hit seven I was more than happy to be leaving. Everyone else also seemed to be in a rush to head out because they left immediately. Andy was the only one behind who didn't seem to want to leave so badly because he was taking his sweet time getting his stuff. I will admit I was a bit curious to what was up with him. Who knows, maybe this little activity will turn out to be interesting.
My mom picked me up and I just wondered if I would ever find a place I would actually be comfortable in. I felt terrible at the hospital and now I have to go home and be with my homophobic parents who have no idea what's been happening to me other than I'm being bullied yet they do nothing about. Well mom's offered but you know how that would go.
"Sweetie, how did it go?" She asked during the drive home.
"Fine." I said hoping nothing more would be asked. But, knowing my mom that just wasn't going to happen.
"What did you guys do?" She asked again.
"Nothing" I replied which wasn't much of a lie. We actually didn't do anything.
"Luke please just talk to me. Will you tell me the reason for you ending up in the hospital again? I'm worried that you haven't been able to get close to your father and I don't know the reason why?"
"Nothing mom. Nothing. Leave it at that cause that's all I'm saying." I told her slamming the car door once we got to the house. I went inside quickly and headed upstairs to do my usual routine. On my way up I heard mom say that we were eating together again which just made me roll my eyes.
After washing up I headed downstairs again because mom threatened that if I didn't join them she would take away my radio. She had me there. Threaten me with something else but never my music. It's the only thing that keeps me sane.
So now we're having our awkward "family bonding time" and I feel incredibly uncomfortable. All you hear is the sound of the spoons clicking against the plate and all I want to do is get out of there. My plate is full which isn't a surprise while my parents just finished theirs.
"Luke please eat something." My mom said making me look up. I stared at her and after a while I dropped my spoon and headed out of the kitchen. What was the point of staying if I wasn't doing nothing there? She told me to show up and I did so she couldn't take away my music and I did as I was told. Sure I didn't eat but she knew I wouldn't be eating.
My dad hasn't said a word to me and I'm perfectly fine with that. He's angry that I won't let him near and won't tell him why. Of course at first he was worried but after a while of trying to make me talk he grew frustrated and just gave up. Mom should just give up also. I'm not talking anytime soon and it's not like they would be worried if they knew that I'm gay. Dad would probably just encourage the others to pick on me.
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Unwanted (BoyxBoy) ~Completed~
Teen Fiction(WARNING!: DEPRESSING CONTENT, POORLY WRITTEN: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK) "I deserve just as much pain as she gives me." He said fully meaning it and crushing my heart all at once. "No you don't. You are just a broken person both inside and out an...