We're All a Little Depraved

8 (helena)

I fell into nothing. Then, I dreamed. It was that same god damn nightmare I have had every night since the incident. May 15, 2010. I was 15 and Mina had just turned 10. I was sitting on the window sill of our especially shitty apartment, a bag of money extended towards my worn-out mother.
"Take it. Make a better life for you and Mina. Get a house, pay for her tuition. Don't tell me you can't use it. You need this money. It'll help you with bills and taxes and your god damn quality of life, Mum, just take it!" I insisted.
She kept shaking her head.
"No, Alaina. No. We need to earn this money HONESTLY. I raised you better, you OUGHT to know! And what the FUCK do you think you're teaching MINA?! That it's OKAY to STEAL?! No! Fuck no. That's not okay, Alaina. I thought I could guide you to the right path, but I was wrong. There's no saving you. Get out of this house, never talk to me or your sister EVER again. God, just..what would your father think, Alaina? You think he'd want some little thief who tries to steer her sister to sin?" She spat at me.
"My father still loved me." I said bitterly.
"He might have loved the old you, but he wouldn't love who you have become. Not some ugly little TRAMP who thinks stealing is okay!" She hissed.
"Fine. I'll leave. AFTER I say goodbye to Mina." I demanded.
"Fine." She muttered.
I called out to Mina. "Mina, come out, little bear." I said gently.
She came, tiptoeing out of our shared bedroom.
"Are you two done fighting?" She asked, tearing up.
"Yes, little bear. All done." I promised.
"Are you staying?" She asked hopefully.
"No, I'm going away for a little bit. I'll be back soon." I said.
I forced my voice not to crack. She held out her pinky.
"Promise?" She said, standing strong.
"Promise." I said, curling my pinky around hers.
I hugged her tightly.
"I love you, Mina. Even when you're scared or mad or alone. Sad or happy or weird. I love you." I told her.
"I love you too, Alaina. Even when you eat all the chips." She told me.
I laughed. I jumped out the window and into the night. Suddenly, I was in a different place. It was nighttime and it was raining, and men kept grabbing at me as I ran. I was alone, and I couldn't stop the terror overwhelming me. I tripped and scraped my knee. I don't know why, but for some reason I was crying. It didn't hurt, but I was scared. Maybe the fear took the form of pain in dreams. The men started to close in, but a bright, shining light blasted them away. A teenage girl, by the looks of her, 14. I didn't need to ask her name, somehow I just knew. I ran to her and hugged her tightly. "Mina! Mina, I'm sorry it took so long, Mom didn't want me to see you. Because-" I blubbered.
"Because you are a thief." She said coldly.
"Mina?"
"You are a thief and a liar and I HATE YOU!" She screamed.
She pushed me aside, then she walked away, abandoning me.