We're All a Little Depraved

10 (mixed)

After I woke up again and cussed out Jonathan, I left his room in a stormy mood. Selina gave me a knowing smile when I stormed into her room.
"You were gone for an awfully long time, hun. Do anything...interesting?" She giggled.
"As if! I hate that guy! He's an ass who enjoys tormenting me!" I huffed.
Selina looked taken aback. "He fear gassed you?" She asked.
"Yep." I replied shortly.
"Wanna go room shopping to take your mind off it?" She inquired kindly.
I thought about Harley. More specifically, her high, whiny voice. "I don't really want to be in a big group of girls.."
Selina must've realized what I was thinking. "We could go together, just you and I..have a little girl time?"
I smiled. "Sure, but I'm broke. Where exactly do our funds come from? We're kind of escapees." I asked.
Selina grinned and held up two wigs and a purse. "The Joker gave me the proper funds and disguises for our little trip!" She said enthusiastically.
I put on the blonde wig. It was long and wavy with ruler straight fringe. Then I put on a short, long-sleeved purple dress with black tights and short black boots.
"This is way better than our uniforms." I told her, already starting to feel better about my situation with Jonathan.
Selina put on her disguise, a short, red wig, skinny jeans, a tee shirt and converse.
"We look like normal Gotham teens!" Selina laughed.
Then we headed out.

Jonathan.

I paced my room, trying to think of the word.
"Not affection, it's something MORE than that...not infatuation.." I mumbled to myself. "Maybe it could be...no. Of course not, that's stupid of me to think."
But I rarely make mistakes.
"Maybe it is, then..."

Helena.

I walked past a group of ugly, stiff futons.
"No," I thought aloud.
A group of leather recliners.
"Nah.."
A circle of Technicolor couches. "Hmm."
I stopped. They were all neon colors, purple, orange, yellow, blue, green, pink-
"Hey, they have my favorite color!"
I sat comfortably on the red sofa.
"I like this one." I told Selina.
She looked to the attendant with a clipboard. The attendant made a check on the clipboard. We were "apartment shopping", which technically we were. I got up from my comfy spot on the couch.
"Beds, I think?" I asked her.
She was playing with a cat desk toy. She nodded without looking up. I skipped over to the beds section. A polished gold bed with frilly pink bedding.
"Nope."
A stiff, wooden cot with plaid bedding.
"Nope."
A wrought iron bed with red bedding.
"Yep!" I told the attendant.
She hurriedly made a check. Selina yawned and lounged on a wooden bed with cat themed bedding.
"Wall paint, I think.."
I leisurely made my way over to the huge wall of paint swatches.

Jonathan.

"You're losing your cool, Jonathan." I criticized myself.
"And to a w-..to a girl! A infuriating girl!" I remarked angrily.
"She's not even mildly attractive. Especially not when she looks so innocent..with those ador-I mean stupid, blue eyes of hers. And when she argues with me, she has such good points, and she even banters-I mean-!" I sighed and plopped myself on my bed.
"Face it, Jonathan. You're in..you are.." I couldn't even say it.
The very idea of..ugh! It disgusted me. I was supposed to be a feared and respected professor of psychology, not a twittering schoolgirl with a crush! I didn't even know Helena's behavioral patterns yet, I hadn't spent enough time, nor had I paid enough attention to analyze them.
"Gah! What good does this do me anyway! I can't think."
I left my room to go to the kitchen, where I proceeded to measure out a potassium supplement and stir it into a cup of tea. I shuddered as I thought of Edward's immature prank last year. He emptied all the supplements from cabinets. As a result, I had to eat normal food until I was able to get back to the store. He had cleverly done it at the beginning of our escape, so I had to wait almost a full week. As I drank the tea, I thought back to all Helena's behaviors I had mental notes about. Ones that were odd, or reminded me of a specific pattern.
"Let's see." I said to myself.
"She is fidgety, with immense creative talent and short temperament..all factors of ADD and ADHD,"
I sipped my tea.
"Sarcastic, intelligent, but not very observant. Not Narcissistic...maybe Masochistic..? Not quite the symptoms. Easily angered..she hasn't shown any other signs of Bipolar...definitely not signs of Histrionic. She seems to have a cognitive distortion, though." I pondered.
I thought back further, stirring my tea and drinking some more of it.
"Fallacy of Change, almost certainly. And she seems to have symptoms of Antisocial; more than three, which makes it almost certain." I thought an overview of all her seen behaviors, not to mention those talked about in her profile.
"And Borderline finishes it off." I congratulated myself.
I rinsed out my tea cup and walked back to my room.
"Now that I know, I can avoid the triggers for those specific illnesses. Or, if I am in good spirits, perhaps I'll manipulate them!" I chuckled to myself.
This will certainly be interesting.