Beauty and the Beast

Gaston

I went to the tavern feeling down that Belle rejected me again. "Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston, looking so down in the dumps. Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston! Even when taking your punches. There's no man in town as admired as you. You're everyone's favorite guy. Everyone's awed and inspired by you and it's not very hard to see why" said Le Fou. Then he started to dance my prase. 

"No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck as incredibly thick as Gaston. For there's no man in town half as manly" he continued. "Perfect, a pure paragon!" responded the Bimbettes. Then Gaston went to these three guys and paid them. "You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley and they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on." 

"Who plays darts like Gaston? Who breaks like Gaston? Who's much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?" asked Le Fou. "As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" I responded starting to feel better and showing off my guns. I kissed one of my guns. "My, what a guy, that Gaston!" everyone cheer. "I needed encouragement. Thank you, LeFou" I thank my pal. "Well there's no one as easy to boister as you!" he sang as he wraped his arms around me. "Too much?" he then asked. "Yep" I told him a little annoyed. 

"No one fights like Gaston. Douses lights like Gaston" said everyone. I started to think about my days in the war and how I am good with a gun. 

"In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston" sang Lefou. "When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver and beasts of the field say a prayer. First, I carefully aim for the liver then I shoot from behind" I responded thinking about this beautiful female deer I shot. I bet there was a little Bambi looking for it's mommy. "Is that fair?" asked LeFou. "I don't care" I responded. 

"No one hits like Gaston. Matches writs like Gaston" everyone said. "In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston" said LeFou. "I'm especially good at expectorating!" I responded as I spit to prove my point. It went far and everyone said "Ten points Gaston!" 

"When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get large and now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs so I'm roughly the size of a barge" I sang. A/N: 4 or 5 dozen eggs are not healthy. Yes Egge are high in protein and I love eggs for breakfast but if anything it will probably make you fat. Too much of anything isn't good for you. 

"Who has brains like Gaston? Entertains like Gaston?" asked LeFou. "Who can make these endless refrains like Gaston? I use antlers in all of my decorating" I told them showing antlers of a deer. 

"Say it again. Who's a man among men? Who's the super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on. There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down..." everyone sang. "And his name's G-A-S...T... I believe there's another T... it just occurred to me that I'm iliterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud before..." sang LeFou. "Gaston!" everyone sang. 

Jasmine POV

I roll my eyes at that performance. Gaston is spelled GASTON like wow. Also what's so great about that guy? He is full of himself and obsess with Belle who loves to read. That doesn't make any sense to me. I'm just happy that at least he's not coming after me. I guess I'm not that beautiful. Not as beautiful as Belle anyways. I mean that's what her name literally mean. She actually taught me how to read and now I also have a love for reading. I feel bad for the deer, Gaston shot. Hunting should be illegal. Whatever, I am out of this. I was here meeting my boyfriend but I rather be somewhere else then at a place that is going to prase a jerk like Gaston. At least my boyfriend isn't like that and accept me for who I am.  Also I think that LeFou guy is gay for Gaston.