Lethal

Chapter Nineteen.

I bristled at his touch and pried my way out of his grasp, trying to get into my apartment with as little communication with him as possible. I didn't want to hear his explanations- no, his excuses. Jibri's words sounded distorted in my enraged state, I was mad at both of us; mostly at myself for believing that he could be as amazing as he seemed. Mad that I had basically sent him running to her with a bow around his pretty little neck.

"What the fuck is this Za? You've been ignoring my calls all day." Jibri barked, I held onto the door securely, not wanting to let him inside of my building. 

The truth was that I'd blocked him to avoid the lies and confusion while I was working; it was hard enough to focus on my job without seeing notifications come in from the man that I loved, the one who crawled into bed with the same woman that he'd told me not to worry about.

"I didn't have much to say after those photos I received this morning. How's Yanise? She looked pretty peaceful while she used your chest as a pillow last night." I seethed; realization dawned on him for a split second before he released a groan. "Look, go home Jibri. If you love me, you'll leave me the fuck alone for a few days while I process."

He shook his head while taking hold of my hand, I didn't move away that time. "Not this crazy bitch shit again." Jibri groaned in annoyance. "Let me come up Za, I'll tell you everything and then I'll leave. You can't process shit if you don't have the full picture. Time without me telling you what happened is only gonna make your crazy little brain work overtime."

I scoffed at his choice of words, I had the full picture alright and I pulled it up on my phone to show him.

"This is recent, you cannot lie to me." I cursed myself internally at the crack in my voice. "Don't try to lie to me right now, Jibri."

Jibri took the phone out of my hand and placed it into his back pocket. "I don't plan on lying to you Za, let's go upstairs. Aight?"

I wordlessly agreed, feeling defeated as we made our way up to my apartment. When we got inside, I headed straight for my alcohol stash; I needed something to make the conversation easier. I poured myself a glass of whiskey and perched on the edge of the counter with the glass clutched close to my chest.

"Talk." I told him, welcoming the sting of the amber liquid at the back of my throat.

Jibri closed the distance between us but I immediately recoiled from him, needing him to keep his hands to himself as he spoke. "I went back to my mom's place after I dropped you off, I knew that Nise would be there and I had to get everything off my chest. I felt betrayed by her; she's making all these major life decisions and for the first time ever, I'm not involved in the process." Jibri scratched the back of his neck and followed me as I headed to the living room.

"Stay the fuck over there." I practically growled as I felt my eyes begin to burn with tears, the kind of tears that wouldn't stop if I started. The tone of his voice had only confirmed my suspicions.

Jibri's eyes looked pained and his mouth was set in a way that led me to believe that he didn't want to continue. "I pulled her outside and we talked, got everything off our chests and ..." He groaned, ignoring my command while invading my personal space. He always did the opposite of what needed when I was angry. "You gotta understand that I love you more than life Za, I would do anything to keep you."

"Right." I finished the contents of the glass and stared at it while I waited for him to get to the point.

Jibri sighed, "I kissed her; you don't understand Za. The way I miss her isn't normal, I had to make sure that there was no spark between us." The glass flew from my hand and in the direction of his head, though I was sad to see that I'd missed. "Chill the fuck out, crazy! I didn't feel anything, and she said that she didn't either, so we just-fell back into old patterns and spent the night catching up." His large hands moved to my shoulders and squeezed, hard. Jibri had a way of saying the most gentle of words while his hands on me were anything but.