It's Not What It Seems

Chapter 11

Trinity

My plane ride here was just fine. The first time I've ridden on one in a minute. The very first time I flew by myself, I was very nervous. I was nervous I wouldn't make it on time even though I got to the airport an hour or so early so I'll have enough time to go through security and etc. It was really just me being me. Overthinking too much.

I already took a nice nap and now I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to tell them. My mom is making dinner at the moment and my dad is outside with my sister. They all think I'm sleep. I told them when I woke up I wanted to play a game with them. They did ask me why my clothes were so baggy and stuff but they didn't pressure me too much since I did wake up early.

I walked downstairs and gathered all of them into the dining room. I made sure they all got their headphones but I had let my father borrow mine because he only had an earpiece.

They all sat down blasting their music as I composed myself. I don't even know what I'm going to say. "I'm pregnant" or "Y'all are going to be grandparents and an aunt." No, that's too long. Okay, I'll just go with the first one before my head spins off. They all smiled and waited as I first spoke.

"I'm pregnant," I said slowly. Both my parents looked at me not knowing anything I just said as my sister, Niyah, said, "Pregnant?" I nodded my head, cheesing saying it again. "I'm pregnant."

"I'm pregnant," my sister stood up. "You're pregnant," she said taking out her headphones. "You are ?"

"You're going to have a grandchild," I said slowly as my mom nodded her head.

"You're going to have a grandchild," she said. "You're pregnant?" she asked standing up next. I nodded my head at both of them as they smiled.

"You're going to be a grandfather," I said saying it 5 more times after that.

"You're going to be a grandfather," he said then stood up. "I'm going to be a grandfather," he took out his headphones last.

"Surprise," I said raising up my shirt as they all gasped. They all pulled me in a tight hug asking a bunch of questions about who the baby daddy was and how far along I was. Just everything I didn't even get the chance to breathe.

Then after I answered all of those questions, the biggest question was asked and I already knew it was going to come.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier ?" I just stood there looking at all of them. I didn't know what to say. I mean there's really no excuse.

"I...uh...I knew that if I told you all that y'all would want to come down and I didn't have a place for y'all to stay at but now I do," I said truthfully.

"Well, you didn't give us a call and let us know that instead of keeping it from us from us," my mom spoke.

"I'm sorry-"

"Does the father of your child know ?" that's another question I never wanted to hear them ask.

"No," I sighed.

"What!" they all exclaimed.

"I know It's just complicated okay ? I don't want him to know yet. I'll tell him sooner or later," I expressed.

"No, you should've been told him. He could help pay for all the things you need," my dad said.

"Zion did all that," I said.

"Well he isn't the father is he, ?" Niyah asked confused.

"No, but he thinks he is," I shrugged my shoulders.

"That's wrong."

"I never told him the baby was his. I just never told him it wasn't either," I said. "Oh and one more thing," I said as they all sat down on the couch. "The baby daddy is white."

Aiden

The passes two nights I've just been in thought.

Do I want to end my marriage and go for someone who's giving me mixed signals? Do I want to sit around and wait for her? Am I wasting my time? Am I not good enough?

I laid in bed debating on whether or not to text her and be straightforward or wait until she gets back. I'm married and she's married we're in something that is just so complicated.

I wish it was easier. I wish I knew all the answers but obviously, that wasn't going to happen. I just want to know if these feelings I'm feeling are something I should act upon or I should shove them to the side.

I sound totally soft but that's how she makes me feel. She drives me crazy. The way she laughs, her smile, her personality, her ability to make me happy no matter the circumstances. Her being her drove me crazy. I loved everything about her.

I don't know if it's because I'm married she's suspicious about being with me or is it because there's actually a problem. With her, you never knew. She had a habit of leaving people confused because as I noticed, Zion was confused as well. He would come up to the job bringing her flowers and wanting to take her out for lunch, and sometimes she'll take the offer while others she would completely ignore him and go back to work. He would stand at her desk dumbfounded and sometimes I'd laugh. It was funny seeing his face. I'm not even going to deny it.

Trinity

My parents don't have anything against white people if that's what y'all are thinking. By the name I told them earlier, they already kind of knew. I wasn't originally going to fall for a man without color but I can't help my feelings. Especially now, even if I didn't have feelings for him I was having a baby by him. He was always going to have a special place in my heart because he gave me my first child. Nobody else can be above that. That's a different type of connection.

I don't know when I'll tell him. I would say until I'm forced but I can't take away the opportunity of him seeing his baby being born. Especially of his first child. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if did that.

I'll tell him as soon as I get back. Hopefully, he won't hate me after. I have really been distant the past few months. I know he's probably confused and I'm sorry if I made it seem like he wasn't who I wanted or that he wasn't good enough. He will always be good enough.

I don't know why I'm telling you guys this when I should be telling him. I'm still messing up when I just said I'm going to fix everything.