MEMORIES AND PLUMS// Bucky Barnes FanFic

Part 23

I yawned and pulled the blankets closer to my body, it had rained again which made the weather even colder. Bucky, on the other hand, is writing in his journal again.

"What is it all about?" I asked him.

He shook his head, and closed his journal pursing his lips into thin line as he looked away.

"Are you okay, Bucky? What's wrong?" he bit his lip and stared at me which made me sit beside him. "It has been days since you haven't had enough sleep. Tell me what's wrong"

He didn't say something, instead, he wrapped his arms around me and snuggled his face in the crook of my neck. I slowly put my arms around him too as I heard him let out a sigh. "Don't leave me, Hayley" he said. His arms went tighter around my body.

Something's up to him and I can feel that he is not okay, but the thing is, he doesn't even want me to know about it.

Those words fought against my head.

Leave.

How long will I stay here with him? To help him bring back his memories. Now that my situation has worsen, how long will I be able to stand by his side?

I can't afford watching him fight not because of his personal issues but because of me. If something happens to him, I will never forgive myself.

I know I never want to lose him. He's all that I have. But to get involved with something I know who will put him in danger makes me think of facing this alone without him.

"Bucky" I whispered, a tear rolled down my face. It even breaks my heart that he is willing to stay for me and protect me even without asking for it. And damn, who am I to have him?

"Please?" it came out a breath. He looks so vulnerable at this moment, this breaks my heart even more. The way I met Bucky, knowing his past, it's just too impossible to imagine how the Winter Soldier became just a man who needs care and love.

I brushed my fingers on his hair and nodded.

"Your best girl won't leave you no matter what happens"

And it hurts me more that I can't even keep that promise.