A vision of Memoir

At the church

Wedding bells starts ringing,
every body's busy waiting.
Waiting for the groom and bride,
to witness the exchange of vows that'll be tied with pride.

I scanned the place with my eyes,
happy to see that their expectations were sufficed.
Saw some old friends and new,
dressed in white and blue.

With tears-- I clapped.
Smiled-- even if its a bluff.
Tried to hide it as much as I can,
dont want to see myself acting blunt.

Everyone is now at the church door,
flowers were thrown and children's toying the petals on the floor.
Some were shouting, and some were crying
while me pretending that I wasn't dying.

Now, the food is served.
Cheers from the crowd at the appearance of the love bird.
I stopped the waiter and got some wine,
hiding at his back-- acting that everything's fine.

Hours later, this fable will be over.
This pain inside me will soon not grow heavier.
The music stopped and people were few,
now, I found my cue.

Heading at the door with nothing in my hand,
but a voice got me to stop my errand.
I looked back to see where it came from,
the newly wed-- my dad and step mom.

A fake kiss for a fake bliss.
Greeted them congratulations-- spilling a secret hiss.
Now I can't continue this game,
my mother needs me in this clever pain.

I left them and went home crying,
taking off my masquerade to stop the pretending.
I open the door and found my mom-- not even crying?
My mom is smiling, is she also pretending?

"How's the wedding?" she asked.
I cried and hugged her-- safe atlast.
"Starting tomorrow, promise me that you'll be happy for your dad, you move on from people who hurt and leave you-- you need to fight for mommy okay?" she told me,
"Yes mom, I promise. I need to be strong because a strong woman raised me." I answered.
She smiled at me-- crying and hovered.

Strong people are the ones who don't give up.
Strong people are the ones who endure.
But, can we say that the people who died were the weak one?
Or they're strong enough to stop their life line?

Funny how I'm here again, at the very church where my dad were wed.
It's been a month since that unforgettable night.
I remembered it clearly-- she kissed me and sang a song that made me fell asleep.
I didn't know her mind was not in peace-- I wish I had the chance to make her feel at ease.

My sense came back to reality as the bells starts ringing,
every body's busy waiting.
not for another groom and bride,
but for my mother's body who committed suicide.