it's the 30th of june, 2019.
they both have finally found the courage and felt enough at ease to the point where they have 'officially' come out of the closet to the public. now, i have been thinking a lot after the video dan posted, because almost all of the books i've written are about dan and phil, and the phenomenon that is "phan".
i don't know why i wrote it like that, but just to make it clear:::: being gay is cool, it nice, it GOOD!!
i'm pretty young, 19 to be exact, so it's not a surprise that i'm more than supportive of everyone, whatever sexuality they are. even if i'm most likely pretty straight (you never know, maybe i'll meet someone who makes me happy that is the same gender as i am, i am not for labelling myself but respect if others do and finds it easier by knowing and labelling how they feel about others) i feel such a compassion and happiness for people who decide that happiness is a better choice than repressing their emotions just to make the dark side of society happy. in a perfect world, you shouldn't have to feel the dread of coming out, and the uneasy feeling of not knowing if someone will accept you for who you are. in my perfect world, there shouldn't be anything such as coming out, because whatever sexuality, you are human. what gender you are attracted to shouldn't decide your fate or social status, or if you're "normal" by society's standards. gay, straight, bi, pan, asexual? you are HUMAN. you shouldn't have to explain that you don't like the opposite sex, nor explain why you like the same sex or both or none or or or or...
YOUR SEXUALITY SHOULDN'T AFFECT OR BE A FACTOR IN.. ANYTHING BUT YOUR LOVE-LIFE.
these books were written because i wanted to show support to the lgbtq+ community, but it was mostly for me to let out my emotions. i've had a rocky life, and expressing my thoughts through fictional stories was the best outlet i had. now, the problem with these books..
exploitation of others non-fictional lives, struggles and sexualities. i didn't want to push it on them, this idea that they had to fulfil these roles we were giving them. i didn't understand that even if i wasn't mailing them these few books i've written to their address, i still strengthened the whole.. "phan chaos" and the idea that they were dating on the "DL" (have to honour phil's slang.) even if i wasn't a die-hard fan, i still got involved by writing these books.
just to make it clear, i am NOT accepting of pushing a certain sexuality in someone's faces when they haven't come out yet, nor am i any longer into "shipping" real people. i may have been enjoying it before, it was a topic in some conversations i've had with people over the internet, but as i've grown as a person, i've realised that they are real people, and they do have the ability to read everything that we write on social media. even if you think "oh they won't read this tweet/story/insta caption/etc anyways", they still are able to do so and we're getting our noses into their personal lives and we're ruining certain things for them. there's one specific thing i remember that a lot of people "shipping phan" was constantly referencing, talking about and wanted them to address, and you all will most likely know what i''m getting at. if not, just think "february". just be respectful, and understand that they deserve and have the rights to privacy.
this is the point with this whole rant thingy i'm doing, tho:
i'm sorry for using "phan" and exploiting their friendship and relationship.
i was considering deleting all the books, but it's a part of me, my thoughts and my journey with mental health, and it seems like you are enjoying them and that most of you understand that it is FICTIONAL, not intended to hurt anyone and was basically a diary hidden in romance. some of it is very dark, i apologise.
be safe. love and support each other.
please, remember that they are real people, with real feelings with a basic need of acceptance. be understanding, understand why they waited so long and why they chose to come out the way they did. it wasn't a "secret they kept from us", their sexualities are something so personal and important for the individual that there is no point to rush just to make a bunch of teenagers happy by "finally knowing phan was real" and such. be respectful!!
and choose (or attempt) happiness, life is short :) thank you for the support, you are amazing and enough and beautiful.
