Futility ( Paul Lahote )

011 - wonder

  song for the chapter: lie in the sound x Trespassers William

wonder // a feeling of amazement and admiration, caused by something beautiful, remarkable, or unfamiliar

The two teenager sat on the sand staring out at the small waves. Kat seemed distant. She hadn't said much since they left the school, as though she was trapped in her own thoughts. Paul couldn't help but just stare at her, she was beautiful. Crystal blue eyes, plump lips, long dark eyelashes. The sea breeze was whipping her hair across her face but she didn't seen to care or a least she didn't notice.

Just being with her, Paul felt a sense of relief for the first time in a long while. He just couldn't get enough of her to him she felt like.. home? The thought crossed his mind and he felt shocked. He had heard Jared and Sam talking about imprinting and to Paul it had sounded like a whole lot of lovey dovey nonsense. But now imprinting was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. He never thought that he could imprint on someone, he was just so angry, all the time but after seeing Kat fight that girl at school, it seemed he wasn't the only one. He chuckled at the thought.

"What so funny?" Kat asked nudging him playfully. Paul hadn't realised that she had been paying any attention to him.

"uhh, I was just thinking about.... Uhh the weather" he said pointing up "and how uhh it's Tuesday" Paul said unsure and blushed furiously.

"Well" Kat laughed, "fun fact, Tuesday is my favourite day of the week".

"Really?" Paul asked awkwardly.

Kat just smiled, "tell me more about this bonfire? I've been pre occupied so I haven't really worked out what goes on"

Paul was intrigued, there was something going on that she was hiding. And Paul wanted to know what. "Well, basically the elders retell our legends and its a get together for our tribe. I'm surprised your grandmother hasn't mentioned it, she's at every bonfire."

Kat's face fell, "You know my grandmother?"

"Yeh", Paul replied "she is really respected in the tribe".

"Grace is a lovely woman, but I wouldn't exactly call us close" Kat sighed "I haven't known her long enough".

Paul wanted to know more but he didn't want to upset her anymore than he had already by bringing her grandmother up. He looked at Kat who stared back at him while he tried to read her.

Kat smiled at the boy, she could see his interest in her life, and for the first time she actually wanted to talk about it. Slowly.

"My mom and I only moved back to the Rez less than a month ago. I'm not going to cover it up, we were having money problems so we needed extra support" Kat looked down and awkwardly played with the sand around her.

"Its okay, you don't need to tell me" Paul said softly grasping her hand.

"No I want too" Kat replied taking note of how warm his hands seemed even though it was quite cold in the breeze. "It has always been just my mum and I" Kat continued, "I never met my dad, honestly I have no idea where he is. So when we came across this rough patch we had to move here. I had never met Grace either before we moved'.

"Well, I'm glad you're here" Paul said quietly.

Kat looked away from Paul and blushed. Her heart began beating faster.

Paul cleared his throat suddenly, "We should go" he said and started getting up quickly. His mood had changed suddenly. Kat was unsure of what had happened. "I'll drop you off at home" he continued. Kat followed him back to his car brushing the sand off her clothing. She felt a little sad if she was honest with herself. She had finally begun to open up, but she now regretted it. She had defiantly scared him off. Kat had emotional baggage and she hadn't even got to the worst of it yet.

They drove back to her house in silence. Once they reached her home Paul stopped the car. Kat got out and said a quick 'thank you' which was ignored by Paul. She closed the door behind her feeling as though she had done something wrong. She walked into the house without looking back at the car and made her way into her room. Kat flopped onto her bed and lay looking up at her ceiling. What had happened just then. Tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Mama, why did you have to leave me, I still need you".