The To-Do List

You what?

She nodded as a burning question slowly slithered its way into her mind. Before she could stop herself, the question was out of her mouth, "was your trainer's name Seth?"

The boys' eyes bugged out. Jillian opened his mouth once, twice, but nothing came out. Killian's eyes began swirling, "where did you hear that name?" he said slowly, the wheels in his brain turning rapidly as he turned his entire body to face Vivian. "Seth.." Jillian trailed off, as if remembering a time, long ago. Killian stood up and turned his back to Vivian, looking out the window, his voice almost on the verge of breaking, "Vivian, how do you know about Seth?" Tears welled up in Jillian's eyes. Though Vivian opened her mouth, nothing but studders escaped, "I... I... I saw..." Killian turned around, his eyes a strikingly bright swirling orchid sea.

She briefly shared his pain, loss, and confusion. This time it was different, the briefest it had ever been. Shaking away the emotions that weren't hers, she took a deep breath and started, "I saw him- I saw all of you," she looked into the crashing storm that was Killian's darkening eyes, "in the apartment. And.. and in the helicopter..." she took a deep breath, "and in the house.. just before the helicopter". Killian sunk back down onto the chair and confusion was sprawled across Jillian's face. "What are you talking about?" Killian sputtered out in disbelief.

"Alright, I guess there's no time like the present now that we have nothing more pressing," Vivian took a breath, "unless we do?" she threw out hopefully. Jillian smirked halfheartedly before his face turned uneasy once more. Killian stood up, "Alright is right V, you have a shit-ton of explaining to do, so let's get started why don't we?" Vivian nodded, racking her brain trying to find any kind of foothold to start with. For a brief second, she couldn't breathe, her heart felt like it was being squeezed to the point of popping. She gasped for breath as the pain of loss and goodbye tore through her. A quick flash of a broad-shouldered man walking away filled her vision. 

She felt a steady hand on her shoulder and she grasped onto it, pulling herself back into her reality-out of his past. Her eyes cleared and she was staring at the faces of the two people who, over these past months, have seared themselves onto her heart in ways she still didn't understand. The eyes staring back were only growing more worried by the minute. Killian's eyes were beginning to calm but were still a thrashing sea of orchid. Vivian looked into his stormy eyes and with the calmest, most even tone she could muster, she weakly sputtered out, "Killian I'm got going to be able to explain anything if you don't stop freaking out and thinking about the pain you've felt all your life from loss". Killian's brow furrowed. Jillian left the room and came back, handing Vivian a glass of water. Vivian took a big swig and a deep breath. 

"Killian, do you remember the first time you took me here- to your house? We were driving here and-" she broke off. "And you made me pull over because you needed to talk about something. Yeah, I remember. It seemed like it was really pressing on you but you didn't really seem to know what to say" Killian jumped in. Vivian shifted her eyes and looked past Killian, out the window behind him for a moment before continuing. "Yeah, so, this is it. I'm ready to tell you. Well, not really ready, but now is kind of the time for it. So. Here I go" Vivian was nervous and filling the room with a nervous energy that put everyone on the edge of their seat. 

"I know about Seth and Jade" Vivian spat out. "Well yeah because we talked about Jade," Jillian interjected. "Yeah, but I knew about her before that. I know what happened at that place.. when the Fangs attacked.. how she was left behind.." she saw Killian's eyes flare up, "Killian, I really need you to be calm. Everything I say is going to trigger you and upset you. Because, well because," Vivian couldn't seem to find the right words. "Because I saw it through you", she blurted out. 

"When we were getting ready to leave for the ball and Kil and I both hurt ourselves on the same spot? I didn't actually hurt myself. I felt Killian's pain when he hurt himself. He fell and hurt his butt. I didn't fall, but soon as the pain shot through his ass, it shot through mine. I don't know how else to describe it. But at times.." she took a breath, "at times Killian and I sync. Our minds, bodies, and souls sync up. I know it sounds stupid or corny or whatever, but that's what happens. The first time it happened was the first time Killian shapeshifted; when you guys found me passed out on my deck. It happened again when I was taking a shower yesterday and getting ready. Sometimes it's like I'm reliving your past memories but like," she searched for the right words,  "as a ghost. Other times, it's like we're synced up and I can feel everything you feel or have felt. Like just now, when I was trying to start explaining and I couldn't breathe, I was feeling the pain and hurt that Killian was feeling at that exact moment as he was thinking about that day he left Jade and the day that Seth left you guys. That squeezing in your heart, the blood rushing to your head, fingertips numb, the loss of breath". 

Vivian paused, looking Killian in his eyes, then Jillian. Jillian was sitting wide-eyed, leaning forward while Killian was leaning back into the sofa trying to absorb it all in. 

"It's hard to understand, I get that. I had no clue what was going on the first couple of times it happened. Hell, the first time I thought I was dying" Vivian continued. Jillian nodded. "There I was, standing on my terrace, and suddenly I felt like I had fallen through a black hole or something. Everything turned black as my vision blurred out, my chest tightened and my breath wouldn't flow. Fear overtook every limb in my body. Then suddenly I was somewhere else. I was with you, but, it was a long time ago. I was so scared," Vivian began tearing up, her breath catching. Jillian's eyes just kept widening as Killian slowly began nodding. Vivian covered her face with her hands and openly wept. "I- I don't know why- I don't know what's- wrong" Vivian sputtered out between drags of breath. 

She felt a hand on her knee and, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt, looked at Killian. "Why are you crying?" Killian's eyes were a shade she'd never seen before, a light lavender. "Well, because I, because you- I feel like I violated you. I saw parts and pieces of your life that I was never meant to see. Pieces and parts that weren't for me to just... invade. I feel like I broke into your mind and soul like a damn bulldozer" Vivian sniffled and wiped her tears with the same sleeve she used for her snot. "Uhh, that's gross" Jillian interjected, pointing at her slimy wet sleeve. "I'll just, uh, grab some tissues.." he said hastily after a glare. Killian nodded, "I mean, you pretty much did exactly that". More tears began streaming down Vivian's face. "But," Killian continued, "it's not like you did it on purpose, right? We don't know why this has been happening and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't come to me about this earlier". "Well, I didn't think you guys needed this as a distraction when we had more pressing matters to deal with," Vivian softly replied. Killian gently lifted her chin, "V, I'm your Vest. It is literally my job to keep you safe and to protect you. I can't do that when you aren't communicating with me about what's going on" he told her, his lavender darkening slightly. 

Jillian handed Vivian the tissue box and she grabbed them eagerly. Jillian and Killian both looked at each other wide-eyed as they watched Vivian take a tiny breath and make a mammoth noise as she blew her nose, practically rocking the whole house. They looked at her, eyebrows knitted high on their foreheads. She let out a little giggle. "So that's why you're always blowing your nose outside.." Killian mused. Vivian just nodded her head and blew again. 

Half the tissue box later, Vivian wasn't crying anymore. After a terrifyingly loud silence, Jillian spoke up, " we can figure out why this is happening, I'm sure. But you need to tell us when it's happening so we can find the pattern." "Well, I can save you that hassle. The darker Killian's eyes are, the deeper in I am, the more I feel, the more connected we are" Vivian stated. Jillian nodded, "okay, well that's a start. I'm fucking tired though, and I'm sure after crying for that long, Viv is too. I say we hit the sack for tonight, then we can pick this back up tomorrow". Vivian glared at Jillian but nodded after a moment, yawning. Killian looked up at the ceiling then back at Jillian, "fine. I am too I guess. We'll pick this back up tomorrow then?" Killian posed the end of his sentence as a question. Vivian just yawned again. Killian and Jillian both stood up and began walking towards their rooms, "Goodnight everyone!" Vivian shouted at both of them, "night!" She heard in response. She rolled her eyes and headed towards the guest room she'd been staying in.