Chapter 7

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William's POV

When my sister asked me to buy two tickets to New York, I felt kind of frightened, but then she told me that she wanted to surprise Gilinsky, and I almost fell dead on the ground.

— ARE YOU CRAZY? — I shouted as if she had told me that she was coming back to England.

She looked at me like if I was the crazy twin the room, and answered calmly:

— Why? It's normal! He's my friend! So I am free to do it, and I want to. — she stopped speaking for a bit. — Will you get me the tickets or not?

— I do, I do! — I surrounded myself to the Lady Arkwright, and she smiled happily.

So when they left, a few days later, I was left alone with the staff.

Mathilda kept on spying all my meals, I am sure that she's taking notes for Jasmine. My sister is so overly protective sometimes.

Samuel kept on insisting in calling me "Mister Arkwright". I really need to make him write 100 times "William", or just enough times until he gets the main idea.

Somehow my sister went away with the feeling that I could possibly feel sad or lonely during this whole week. Thus Mister Jack Johnson moved in temporarily.

I was trying to meditate, but these thoughts were stuck in my head, and so my focus just vanished.

The things between me and Jack have been kind of awkward since that day when we "slept together".

Well... the truth is that I am 100% guilty of all of that awkwardness. I just can't deal with all the memories of my father saying that I'm a sinner and that my duty is to get married to a woman and have children.

Once more being an Arkwright and so part of the British nobility, it's not easy. I have accepted myself so many years ago, but every time that I have someone (or at least a thing with someone) that horrible conversation just pops in my mind, and all the bad feelings just came with it, and I tear all of the boys away from me, not intentionally, of course.

Therefore, Jack is one of them. I was a total dick and he just left. We haven't spoken since the morning when we woke up side by side, cuddling cutely. I felt so good. I felt awesome. I felt magic. I felt loved.

I was going downstairs when I heard someone speaking in the dining room. The people were speaking low as if the walls could hear them.

I got a little bit closer, not close enough to be seen, though, and started to get a little bit more attention to the conversation.

— Lord Arkwright is an old-fashioned man, my dear. — I recognized that voice as Mathilda's. — He doesn't approve the sexual orientation of his only son. He sees William as the next "Lord" of the family. So the poor boy has been under a lot of pressure since he was a baby. — she said quietly.

— He's expected to get married to a woman and to have children, but he's gay. — Now was Samuel's turn to speak. — That's why Mister and Mistress Arkwright travelled all across the country to Los Angeles. He wants to be free and she's just too supportive to let him alone. They born and were raised together and I honestly don't think that they're going to split ever.

— But he's so cruel, yet so sweet. — that one was Jack's voice. — I can't understand it. One day he tells me to lay down with him, which is awesome and treats me so kind and on the other day he just begins to ignore me. — he made a pause. — Is he bipolar? — Mathilda and Samuel laughed so loudly that I used that as my purpose to enter the room.

— Why are you all laughing? — I said with my most frigid, aristocratic voice.

They all froze in their seats, probably not expecting my sudden appearance there. Inner, depth in my emotions, I was laughing so hard at them.

— I'm waiting. What was so funny? — I grinned ironically.

— Nothing, Mister Arkwright. — Samuel said rapidly and Mathilda's mouth dropped as my expression hardened

— Samuel, I've had enough! By tomorrow's afternoon, I want a paper submitted on my desk! 150 times "My boss's name is "William" and I should always address to him like that!". — I shouted the last part, but I kept on going. — Nobody here, in this damn country, treats me as "The Honourable William Arkwright, Viscount Arkwright". So just stop. I'm William, I'm not Lord or Viscount or Highness! I'm just William, and I want you to learn that. Please. — I begged.

Samuel seemed to understand my point, so he calmly nodded. Mathilda was smiling and Jack was facing me like I had grown 3 heads.

— Go upstairs, Jack. — I pointed to the staircase, and he did it. — Samuel, start your work. You have a long way. — and he did so and I turned to Mathilda.

— Thank you, Mathilda, from heart, for everything that you've been brilliantly doing for 20 years. Thank you for always standing there for me and Jasmine. Thank you for what you've done a few minutes ago with Jack. Thank you for existing. — I hugged her so hard that a little more of force and her ribs would crack.

— It's nothing, William. Nothing at all. I love you as my own son. — she cleaned some tears that were dripping down her face. — Now go get your boy. — and I did.

***

Jack was lying on his bed, in one of the spare rooms, when I entered. He looked at me, but neither he nor I said anything.

— I'm sorry. — I said quietly, leaning against the door. Although the room was big Jack could see me perfectly, and so could I see him. — I've not been the best person in the world for the past few months, but everything has a story behind, and so does my behaviour.

— It's actually fantastic how bipolar you can be, William! — he said calmly. — First, you're all kind and sweet and amazing. Then you are cruel and distant. All "I'm-Mister-royal-don't-touch-me-please" and that's exhausting! Freaking exhausting, William.

His words hit me with the force of 1000 trains. It's like having a hydraulic press pressing me against the floor.

But what he said was true, I was an asshole. Once more I let my fears taking something that could be amazing from me.

— I get it. Have a nice day. — I said and left. I haven't even noticed the tears that were slowly falling down my face. 

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