How to Live | Slow Updates

chapter five

"Hey," Zara says when I walk into school the next morning.

"Hey. Did you get with Michel like you wanted to?" I ask, and Zara's nostrils flare angrily. She stares off into empty space, an annoyed expression on her face as she thinks about what happened last night.

"I talked to him, and I was going to get his number but..." Zara trails off taking a deep breath to contain herself.

"You don't have to say it if it makes you upset," I assure, but Zara shakes her head and her angry expression changes into an apathetic one.

"But Hayley came over and dragged him away. And I know it's not just a coincidence because she looked right at me and winked and I swear, if she had a dodgeball she would've thrown it at me," Zara says. She started out smoothly and calmly, but now she's back to the way she was before—cheeks red and angry eyes.

"Just tell her off if she's bothering you that much. You can't be afraid of her forever," I advise and Zara shakes her head.

"I'm not looking for trouble. It's much easier to complain about her to you than it is to actually go do something about it," Zara states like it's final. "What did you do at the party? Did you follow my advice and get with some guy? If you did, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to go, but my dad was yelling over the phone and you know... I couldn't really do anything about it. Honestly, I'll hook you up with someone if you need it as an apology."

"No!" I exclaim and think back to Andrew. "It's fine; nothing happened last night. I just sat in a room for a while because parties really aren't my scene."

"Oh!" Zara exclaims. "Did I pressure you into coming? I'm sorry if I did. I'm hardly aware of what I'm saying, and I know that's not really an excuse, but I just need you to know, I didn't mean to pressure you into coming. Ugh, I'm so sorry for leaving you at the party. Next time, if there is a next time because you totally don't need to come if you don't want to, just call me. Chicks over dicks right?"

"No Zara! It's fine, really. I don't mind being alone with my thoughts," I say, though I wasn't alone last night. I debate whether to tell Zara about it or not, but in the end, I decide not to. It's not a big deal anyways. He was drunk or something of the sort, and I just needed to be away from everyone.

"No Lexi, you can tell me if something's up. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I don't want to be a bitchy friend," Zara says.

"No Zara, you don't need to worry about me," I say, my heart warming as she says those words. "I'm fine, really. And I don't mind coming with you to parties if you ever need a ride or something."

"I feel so bad now," Zara says, "even if you say you're okay, I still feel like shit for making you sit in a room the whole time. Who knows what people have done on the sheets before?" Zara shudders, and I think of the guy and the girl and I gag.

"Well, something did happen... I accidentally walked in on a girl giving this guy a BJ while searching for a room," I explain and Zara cringes.

"I would've hopped out of Hayley's balcony if I saw something like that."

"I felt like hopping out of a balcony," I say, trying to get the image out of my mind.

"Let's please talk about something else. I don't need to think about that," Zara says, and I nod in agreement.

"Does Michel know who you are?" I ask, and Zara nods eagerly, a grin spreading out onto her face.