Back to Barnes // the winter soldier

18: hail

For the next five minutes, give or take the indefinite fleeting seconds I had lost track of, Bucky and I stood pressed together, my hands tangled in his hair and his on my waist. I whispered sweet nothings between his quick kisses, making him smile. My entire body felt hot and my insides were fluttering - no, thrashing - at the serendipity, the unplanned and unexpected happiness, of the situation.

It had been a long, long day. By then it was maybe one in the morning and we were both still sick as dogs, though completely forgetful of it. He didn't seem to mind my unpleasant sniffing and I didn't notice his ice-like hands, we just swayed to the nonexistent music.

Nevertheless, my head began to loll onto his flesh shoulder and my eyes drooped. Bucky breathed out slowly, taking my face between his hands and studying my decreasingly alert form.

"Maisie," He smiled. Genuinely smiled. A smile I hadn't experienced yet but tried as hard as I could to enjoy it as my eyes failed to cooperate. "As much as I would like to be here all night, you need sleep. We need sleep."

I nodded vacantly.

He nodded back and smiled again. Not a second later, my feet left the ground and I was fastened into his arms. I let out an ugly screech of surprise, causing Bucky to chuckle as he carefully set me on the bed. I giggled loudly, a hand over my mouth. He laughed softly and brushed his hair away from his eyes where it had fallen.

"What was that?" He asked, laying down beside me.

My giggling ceased into breathless chuckles. "I have not been picked up since I was maybe six." I pulled the blankets over us and he spoke up.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay," I breathed. "I liked it."

He rubbed his face as to cover the blush I had already seen. My shy and uncomfortable little captive.

As he fell asleep, I pondered my next steps. Yeah, I was a total jerk for admitting my feelings even though I planned on leaving soon, but my thoughts were confirmed when I saw his attitude change the second I told him I loved him. He stood a bit straighter and his eyes sparkled. There was an increasing familiarity and comfort expressed in his kisses, and he was actually acting like someone without PTSD and anxiety and trust issues. It was something I hadn't thought of: Maybe the path to being his old self started with knowing he was loved and not alone. I wanted to experience his strength coming back and his ability to love growing stronger and what he was like when he danced with me as we belted show tunes and made exaggerated movements . . . but I simply couldn't, I didn't have that time.

I had to stick to my plans.

I sighed deeply and crawled deeper into the blankets.

I could only wonder how much longer I had with him.

_____

I woke up at four as if I had slept for eight hours. I felt alert and slightly less sick but confused. In a flash of memory, I looked at Bucky, who had inched away and was now maybe a foot or so to my left. I smiled, sitting up. I was stuck watching Bucky when I heard footsteps in the hall. Normally, at this time of night, no one was walking through the dorm halls. The only people awake were the few pilots on the control deck, who never came into the halls. My spine erected and I slipped out of bed.

I pulled my coat on and peered out of my door. I only saw Damon.

"Hey." He smiled and winked.

I stepped into the hall and looked at him, leaving the door open.

"I was coming to see you." He walked towards me and kept walking past me. "Walk with me."

I followed him, pulling my coat closer to my body. We weren't walking towards the stairs, we were walking towards the end of the hall, a dead end. His room wasn't there, so I hadn't a clue as to why we were walking there.