the brown girl's bible

how to make cookies: a tutorial

type of chapter: tutorial

because a woman's place is, supposedly in the kitchen.

ingredients list:
- eggs. lightly beaten just like my friends after we play mario kart together
- butter. just butter.
- sugar. a lot of it so we can get diabetes uwu
- flour. maybe even flower if you have hayfever for the added p a i n.
- arsenic. just in case the toll of baking really gets to you.
- the chappel your parents hit you with in year 5.
- tears of pain as you realise that the earth will become inhabitable in a couple of years due to global warming, but there's nothing you can do about it as it's all the big corporations behind the majority of emissions.

method:
- pre heat the oven to 180 degrees
- cream the butters and sugars and then combine in the egg and vanilla. what vanilla? the one i typed in the ingredients list. what do you mean i didn't type it in? stop being a dick and combine the vanilla.
- sift in the flour and salt as if you're looking for gold. but there is no gold. just a bowl of non edible food, unless you're brave enough and a sad person.
- then add the chocolate chips, or what's left of them. you can't hide it, we've all snuck a couple before. just don't let them catch you.
- pour everything into a kenwood blend xtract 3 in 1 bl237 blender - white and throw in the whole bottle of arsenic and the chappel for that extra ~pizzazz~
- b l e n d
- chug the whole thing like the sad git you are whilst sobbing uncontrollably  

a/n: not sponsored by kenwood, sadly.