I regained my conscious at thehospital, I just wished to never be able to do it that's how pathetic I was! My eyes kept dancing, looking at the hospital's roof,the light was too bright so I covered them with my hand. To be honestI just wanted to cry but my tears won't come down, was I not sad enough? Am I just being dramatic over simple things? If it's right, why wished I to stay at the hospital, the place that I hated the most?
«Thanks God you are awake! »
I heard those words that came from somewhere.
« Lucky, I had bought you to the hospital before that you lost all your blood! » the same voice said, it was familiar I felt like it came from someone who I know. For a second I felt happy, until I remember where and from who this voice came from. I sat quickly feeling embarrassed from that person ,and that what provoked my wound so I let a scream go and then the situation become more embarrassing than it was!
That was the « bright smile guy », or the doctor of my cousin's son, John.
Me: Why am I here?
I stupidly said that because it was too awkward to stay silent!
Dr: Don't you remember?You lost conscious so I bought you here!
Me: Ah thank you, and excuse me for the trouble.
Dr: Don't be sorry I had to do it!
Me: Thanks! You can return to your work, I will stop being trouble for you!
Dr: You are not a trouble you are my friend!
Me: sorry what?
Dr: I'am here as your friend not as doctor!
Me: Are we friends?
I said that out loud because I was too shocked to act girly. Think about it your crush said that he or she is your friend without you knowing it.
Dr: Aren't we friend?
Me: I don't mean anything, but did we talk about that and I forgot about it?
Dr: Do we have to ask for being a friend to someone? Isn't friendship comes naturally? If you don't want to be my friend it's okay!
Me: No, no I'm willing for it!(What did I say?)Who doesn't want to be a friend with a charming ...(Shut up Sarah what are you saying?) I mean we can be friends!
Dr: Okay now we are officially friends! I will go you should rest.
Me: No I have to go!
Dr: Do you have work to do?Your health is more important than...
Me: For them, nothing is more important than the work, I had a long day I should go!
Talking with him made me forget about what happened . Even just for those minutes I felt happy the first time today. He took me to my home with his car, we didn't say a word, my mind was so full that I couldn't manage to let my voice out! When I remember what happened to the day, I can't help but feeling angry but also guilty, it was unfair however, it was also my fault! One of the most unwanted feelings is to feel being treated unfairly but not knowing who to blame because the only one who should take it is yourself !
When I got off his car I didn't even say thank you, I just looked at him and closed the door's car. I couldn't even afford a smile, I couldn't even pretend to be fine. Luckily my parents were sleeping so I didn't have to explain... To be honest, I wanted to talk to someone, a person who would hear me without saying anything, who would hug me when I finish my words, who wouldn't say « I understand how you feel » because I know that no one would understand my feelings! But in the end I just want someone to take the blame, I felt like a coward, a jerk, a bad person I just felt unwell!
I could still feel the pain that my wound caused even after I took my medicine. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't cry, I couldn't think about anything!I was tired enough to pass away, but my body won't!
My mind went blank all night until my alarm ringed! I just let it ring, I didn't care about the noise that it made. After all my mom came to scream ordering me to get up! She nagged about how I'm a lazy girl because I couldn't do it, she didn't know what her daughter suffered from! How could she know, it's me who hide everything from her, it's again my fault!
I didn't even change before going to work, I had to work because my problems don't matter! I had just to get myself together and forget my pain!
No one talked to me about yesterday's night, they tried to act normal but I could feel that the atmosphere was awkward. When that psycho came, our work started as usual. The day passed like any other day, even though it was more difficult, more painful...
When my shift ended, I changed my cloth and quit. Suddenly a hand grabbed my wrist!
Wendy: Did you shift end?
Me: Yeah...
Wendy: Let's eat dinner out!There's a new restaurant near here, it's Kevin treat!
Kevin: Why would it be my treat?
Wendy: because you are the man among us!
Kevin: What? So you are saying that women can't pay for themselves?
Wendy: What do you mean? Hey Sarah let's show him a lesson!
Me: Guys, I know that you do that to comfort me! But I'm okay! I'm not the only one who gets scolded
...: Yeah she is right! Why all this fuss?
I turned my head to see that psycho coming to us!
Bilo: Is she the only one who gets scolded, after that she did wrong? Is this her first time? Women are so fragile! If you get hurt so easily just forget about becoming a true cop, stop playing and go study for something else ! Or just marry a rich man, and stay at home!
Wendy: Senior, please stop!That's enough!
Bilo: Who are you? Are you different from others to not get scolded! You made a whole drama from a small thing! I found a job for you: a novelist! Of course, if you know how to write, I'm sure you don't know! Making a sad face all day like if I tortured you, it's me who had enough of you! Did you even succeed on your mock exam? Did you even pass it?
The more he screamed the more people gathered to see what happened! I felt humiliated, I was afraid I couldn't run away it was horrible!
Wendy: Senior people are looking,can you stop, please? She got the message!
Bilo: I doubt that, she's stupid!
' Stupid' , ' lazy' , ' bad' , 'idiot'... I had enough of these I already knew it why do people repeat it to me as if I don't notice it!
And finally I ran away, but that feeling of hearing him spelling hurtful words without saying anything couldn't get away from my mind. I didn't know what happened in my life to change like this. I didn't know how my life just went down!
