*Chapter notes*
Let's see if I can pull this off.
Chapter 13
I don't think it fully registers in my brain who leans in first. All I know is that my lips are now connected with Brian's. Again.
It's the softest of touch, almost tentative, asking for permission. We both purse our lips and they meet for a moment. Then we do it once more. It's quick and innocent. We simply share small pecks, barely making any contact.
The beating of my heart increases by the second, and I can feel my whole body pulsing to the rhythm of my bloodstream. It's hard to believe that something as tiny as this, which can barely be called a kiss, can have such an effect on me. But I have to remind myself of the source of those light touches. This is a man whose only existence can turn me into a big puddle of nothing. My body responds to him without checking in with my brain first. And I'm more than happy to let him reign over my corporality, fully aware that he's the guiding arrow of my thoughts as well.
His hands go up to caress my face, his thumb runs up and down my cheekbone, a feeling that I am rather used to. Taking advantage of his hold on my head, he pushes me away a little, just enough for our eyes to meet. What I see in those endless pools of feelings is probably only a reflection of my own eyes. He tells me everything I need to know without using any words, because we have reached this point where there's no need for verbal communication. And, right now, he's wordlessly telling me that it is about time, that he's ready to throw every caution away and dive into the dangerous unknown.
As I'm reading the infinite tale of our story in his dilated pupils, his hand finds its way to my neck. In one quick move he has our faces crashing against each other. It hurts. It fucking hurts. There's a huge chance that my nose is going to bleed but, in full honesty, I don't give a fuck. If a broken nose is the price I have to pay for this hungered kiss, so be it.
My bottom lip is captured between his lips, and he nibbles on it slightly. Our noses once again bump with each other as he moves my head to the other side, trying to kiss me from a different angle. Not a centimeter of my lips is left untouched.
I have to do something to catch up with him. My thoughts have already taken too long to register what is really happening. I'm just standing here, letting his mouth do with mine as it pleases.
The reaction of my body comes as a surprise, even to myself. Before I know it, my mouth is fighting his in a sexy battle. I suck his upper lip in, hard, and then run my tongue against it to ease the pain. The sound that comes out of him is pure agony. It's partly a grunt, partly a moan, yet entirely hot. I swallow his groan, the vibrations making me shiver.
Having a life of their own, my hands go up to wrap around his neck. I straighten my back and pull him towards me, making our upper bodies press together as close as it is humanly possible. His heartbeat resounds hard against mine. I feel the uneven beat against my chest and I wonder if he can feel my own heart beating to the rhythm of his name.
Still lost in the deliciousness of his lips, it suddenly hits me that he's probably tasting nothing but cigarette smoke and Redbull. He doesn't seem to mind, though. He never has. Or if he had at some point, hopefully he has realized by now that this is me, this is who I am. My mouth is not an exquisite flower garden like his is.
Everything stops.
Time stops ticking.
Mouths stop kissing.
I don't deserve him. He's a beautiful human being, an amazing soul, with a gorgeous body. His mind is like no other. He is smart, and funny, and talented, and the most amazing drag queen I have ever known. My rotted ass doesn't compare to his transcendental existence, let alone be worthy of his love and affection.
A tear falls from my left eye. I have never, ever loved myself. Yet, he's been able to see through all my flaws - and there are many of those - and he's found a version of me that I don't even know myself. There's a side of me that is only his. A part of me that never comes to the surface unless he is around. And I like that version better. I like how free I can be when I'm around him. I never really understood why until now. It's because he loves me. He loves me unconditionally. He loves me for who I am. He loves me, all of me, period. Maybe just as much as I love him.
This realization brings up a brand new desire. I want to thank him. I want to thank him and make him feel just how strong my love for him is.
I step on the chair and launch myself inside his arms. Even when he doesn't have time to prepare himself, he catches me with ease. My legs wrap around his hips and his hands hold me by the ass. Our faces are only inches apart. He notices my tears and gives me a questioning look. I shake my head with a smile. These are happy tears. He sighs with relief, his heavy breathing hits my neck as he brings me even closer to him.
Any coherent thought I could have had flies out the window as soon as his lips start devouring my neck. He's biting and kissing, and running his tongue against the already sore skin. I know he's not a big fan of hickies, he finds them tacky and trashy, yet that is not preventing him from sucking hard on my flesh over and over again. He is fully aware that it's going to leave a mark. He can get his own name tattooed on my neck with kisses, for all I care. The world may as well know that, even if it's just for this one night, my body and soul were given to Brian Firkus fully and completely.
I'm not sure if I'm quietly moaning, just for him to hear, or if I'm screaming loud enough for the neighbors to get scared. All I know is that every inch of my skin is on fire and the only way to put out the flames is by becoming one with him.
Either our minds are just that connected, or he's feeling the same urge because, without stopping the treatment on my neck, he starts moving us in the direction of my room.
Magic is about to happen.
*End notes*
So I dared myself to write a chapter without dialogues, since I've always admired the way they can communicate without words, and, well, this was it, did I pull it off?
