When can I see you again? Johnlock AU

Hit or miss, huh?

This smell is truly horrific. I feel my insides twist in utter disgust. I feel my face scrunch together like a dry sponge.

I follow the smell out of instinct. Yeah, I will probably die first in horror movies but like hell I care.

On second thought this smell isn't as horrible as it could be.

As if I called out for it I smell iron.

Hallucinations, I tell myself.

Your fault, the voice whispers, it was your job to safe them.

I kick the door open, luckily I hit the door and not a wall. That happened once and let me tell you, this was awkward. I looked like some angry three-year-old punching or rather kicking the wall in a fit of anger.

Worse when I was kicking someone. But even if I would do that here, I would serve them right. After all, I guess that I could hit Sherlock. And that one might deserve the hit.

"Ah, John, you're finally here" A familiar voice greets me.

OH shit. I made such a great entrance and then zone out? Talking about a failure. And what is this greeting, duh.

"Morning I guess."

"It is evening John. It is dark outside."

"As if that's a change" I mumble under my breath.

"What have you said?" Sherlock seems surprised. I'm blind motherfucker, how dumb are you?

"I said 'as if that's strange' you know? With this kind of cooking I wouldn't be able to see that"

I get a clicking of his tongue as an answer. Aww, now he is upset. Probably even pouting.

Kind of cute. I chuckle slightly.

Wait! Fuck no I mean cute that he acts like a child not because he is cute. Ugh. I hate my gay ass sometimes. Like really, this kind of character? My taste is awful...

"Well, what should this monster here originally represent?"

"Ah, I tried to make scrambled eggs and toast. However, this tasks seems to harder than expected..."

"Pfft, you created this mess for just scrambled eggs?" I laugh for a few minutes. Then I hear a dark roar. No wait, that's just Sherlock's chuckle.

Hot damn. Why is the world so unfair?

When we finally calmed down which took a few minutes. I persuaded Sherlock to just make some Toast.

Maybe I could have done the scrambled eggs myself, but being blind in an unfamiliar environment is probably not the best condition. Plus, I normally have problems cracking the egg in the bowl and not somewhere else.

Hit or miss, huh? I guess I always miss, huh.

"You can seat yourself, John. I will prepare the food."

Luckily, Sherlock is a Gentlemen and draws the chair back. No need to awkwardly search it for me. I sit down. Not falling on my butt in the process, so I should be fine. Maybe, Sherlock did learn from past incidents.

"I will just prepare the toast. It's a waste of plates to put everything out." Sherlock simply states.

"Yep, sounds clever. Could I have cheese on it please?" Wow. Seems like he already knows I am blind. Pretty sweet of him to just justice this kind of behaviour without my disability.

"Coffee?"

"Coffee?! CoFfEe? Sherlock are you serious??!" I exclaim loudly with my best British accent. "We're in Britain, Sherlock, Britain! I want a tea for fucks sake! Are you even British?"

Sherlock seems quiet perplex.

Keep calm. Poker face.

It crumbles. Damn, I need to be serious.

But I'm weak and what's wrong with that. I start to chuckle yet again. Starting to hold my stomach in the process because, damn, it hurts.

Sherlock on the other hand seems to be annoyed.

"Well," he starts suddenly. And I swear I lost my shit. This guy just used the most British accent I have ever heard. This guy is worth gold. "Which flavour would you prefer then, John?"

"Which flavours are there, Sherlock?" I ask wheezing.

"Oh, there are quiet lovely ones indeed. We have Mint flavoured tea, black tea, fruit tea and green tea. They sound lovely, don't they?"

"Oh yes, dear, quite lovely. I will take black tea please. No sugar please." Shit, did I just say 'dear'? Oh damn, I am so dead.

I wait for my final blow...

Instead there is a laugh. Oh, no I get infected by this perfect laugh. Please spare me. My stomach already hurts enough. Though I laugh anyway.

"Dear brother of mine, what have I done wrong that you are imitating me?" An unfamiliar voice asks suddenly.

Damn, god thing I already fell on the floor due to laughing. I would have fallen pretty hard otherwise. And his voice does resemble Sherlock's imitation quite a bit. I can't even.

The man gets no answer, but two adults rolling on the floor laughing. I must say, Sherlock imitation is on point. 

(A/N) OMG IS THAT AN UPDATE?!  AND FINALLY SOME REAL STORY DEVELOPMENT????? 

Yasss, I am back for a bit and I actually managed to let John not faint skskksks xD poor Little John. 

Welp, anyway, thanks for  reading and I see you in a few decades when I finally got the motivation to write again.... uwu

Oh boi, I actually write this weeks ago but forgot to post it xD