After Luke left, I really took the blow. My mom was yelling at me and scolding me. She didn't even let me eat any breakfast. There was tears and shouting and stomping feet. I'm pretty sure my black combat boots made some marks in the floor. My mother took my phone and said she was keeping it until next month. In January.
I finally ended up going to my room, stomping extremely hard up the stairs. Tears were still streaming down my face as I sank into my bed. This was so unfair.
My hand is fine. The doctor said it would heal in like two weeks. It wasn't Calum's fault, he didn't even know the oven was on. If Luke knew I was even awake he would make me sit down and he would've made breakfast himself. But I didn't wake him up. So this was basically my fault if you think about it. But you can't blame the whole thing on me or my boyfriend and his friends!
I say pondering over all of the small things that could've changed. Things that would mean not being in my room and hanging out with my boyfriend. I love that word. Boyfriend. And now I have no reason to use it. Because I can't see him. I can't kiss him or hold him or ruffle his hair. Nothing. It was only a month. I had to keep chanting that to myself. But a month seemed so far away. Endless days and nights. That's a lot of time apart. He could move on. Even worse move away. There is so many things that could change in a month. New people come into the world. Others leave. Love is destroyed and created.
I was worried. Luke said he loved me yes. I used to think I was in love with my old boyfriend, the one who dumped me for the football team. Jake was a jerk that's true. I thought I loved him. But my feelings for him changed in seconds. He was a player, a cheat, and a liar. All things I didn't realize until he broke my heart. I was hesitant to love someone again. Luke could be the same way. Like a trance. This could be his awakening.
I don't know what to do. It's the middle of the week and I'm not in school. And I just don't know where my life went so wrong.
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I fell asleep listening to "Stone in Love" by Journey. All I felt like I had right now was music. It soothed me. I played with my now wet hair because I took a shower. My anger had subsided, but my heart filled with sadness instead.
My daydreams were quickly shattered when I heard a tap on my window. My heart skipped a beat and I scrambled out of bed, going so fast I jammed my toe into my side table. I steadied my old record player and bit back the tears. I kept moving, the pain numbing but my heart wouldn't let me stop. I opened my window and looked down and saw a present.
Luke wasn't there and I don't blame him because I wouldn't want to see my mothers wrath either. So I ran over to my door and locked it. I swung from the tree and didn't even bother climbing down the tree. I fell from the top of it and didn't bother to brush off the mulch.
I ripped open the brown Fed Ex package and saw something round inside. I carefully stuck my hands in and they grasped the edge of something flat, bent in a circle shape. I pulled it out to examine a shiny record in my hands. There was a note taped to it.
Of course, it was from Luke and the boys. It read;
Jess,
Since I can't talk to you, we all agreed we might as well sing. This is our first official "album" though it isn't very great honestly. I bet you didn't even know we were in a band! We wanted to surprise you with it and I don't think there could've been a better time. We just thought you might like it. You can listen to it while you're locked in your room. We remembered how you used to talk to us about your old record player and a bunch of old bands, so we got our music put into this record. I really hope you enjoy this. Okay this is your boyfriend talking. I miss you already and it hasn't even been more than an hour. I promise you it'll be the same me when I can see you again. I'll still love you just as much as I do now. I hope you like the present.
Luke
I choked on the word love as I read the note. A single tear of joy trickled down my cheek as I held the record cover close to my chest. I'm sure their band is amazing.
I put the box in the outdoor trash can, trying to step on the snow-shoveled driveway. I leaped over the grass because I was still barefoot and landed on the mulch. I clung to the record for life because anything from the boys meant so much to me at that moment. I climbed up the tree, making sure my feet hit dry spots, and climbed through the window for what felt like the millionth time that week.
I filled a bucket with scolding hot water and stuck my feet in them. I sat on the bed next to my record player and gently set took the record out of its folder and placed it on the turntable. I dropped the arm onto the outer edge of the black vinyl record. A rich sound poured out of the CD.
I listened to Luke's voice, his surly voice soothing. I laid down on the bed, my feet still in the hot water. The instruments and all the vocals of their songs clashed together perfectly. Not good, he said. He lied. They're great. I listened to all of their songs multiple times until I learned the words.
I liked the last song the most. It was dedicated to me, so of course it's going to be my favorite.
"This is for a special girl out there. Hope you like it Jess." I heard the boys say for the fourth time. I smiled and somewhere I knew Luke wasn't going to move on. He'd be right there along with me.
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Jessica's mom is super mean ugh. Yah okay so I still haven't gotten to the part where I explain this big event thing, but another piece of the puzzle has been released in this chapter, it's small though. So I doubt you'll understand until later.
