Dramione - Hate Is A Strong Word

Chapter 1

Hi, this is my first fanfiction. I love reading fanfics, so I thought I’d try and write one. If you have any improvements, please suggest them to me. Hope you like it, even though I’m probably the only one reading it. :)

And all credit is given to the brilliant J.K. Rowling for creating these wonderful characters and the brilliant story I am basing my fanfiction on.

Chapter 1

~Draco’s POV~

     I turned over to look at her.

She was fast asleep; scrunched up into a little ball. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her knees, hugging them, and her long, brown hair splayed across the pillow. Her beautiful face was peaceful as she slept. I reached up and lightly stroked her delicate cheek, she nuzzled against the warmth of my skin. I smiled, she made me feel whole, she made me feel like I belonged, and I had never felt that before. I carefully lifted my head and gently pressed my lips to her forehead and whispered “I love you”. I rested my head back on the pillow and fell into a calm sleep beside the person who made me feel perfect.

     With a start, I woke up, the harmonious feeling that had engulfed me in my dream, slowly trickled from my body and the sense of longing and despair washed over me. It was just a dream, as always. The same dream I had every single night and the same wretched feeling as I awoke each morning. I had been having this dream since the day I received the letter to return to Hogwarts for my final year. I couldn’t remember the details clearly, but I know I really cared for someone and I felt truly happy in this dream. But what could I ever know about happiness, no one had ever really loved me.

Then, like someone had cleared the mist in my brain, it came to me; the girl’s face I was caressing with such tenderness was the face of Hermione Granger.  

I didn’t know how I felt. Was this good or bad. My friends and family would most likely murder me if they found out. I couldn’t control my dreams though, could I? I didn’t really like Granger in that way, surely? No. I obviously didn’t, she was a….. mudblood. I shivered at the thought of that horrible word. It brought back the sickening memory of Granger being horrifically tortured by Bellatrix last year. And that single word she had engraved into her arm, branding her. I had sworn to myself never to use that word again. Her manic screams still haunted me, I sometimes heard them ringing in my ears, when I was alone in the Manor, which was usually most of the time.

In my confusion, I pushed the thought of Granger out of my head. I looked over at the clock, which read 5:03am. I slumped back in my bed. Today was the day I was going back to Hogwarts. Everyone was set back a year, because they were redoing the last year over again. Professor McGonagall, the headmistress, thought it would be best, because not everyone attended last year due to the battle, and the people who did attend, didn’t learn anything because of the Carrows. So everyone has a chance at redoing it again, but this time properly without any distractions. I wanted to go back, I needed to get my N.E.W.T.s, and prove to everyone I wasn’t a death eater anymore, to get a good job. I needed to think of my future.

I wanted to show people the real me for the first time, not some arrogant, obnoxious brat, who was controlled by his father. I wanted people to like me, I knew I didn’t have any true friends, Pansy and Blaise only hung out with me because my father was an influential and powerful person. They probably put on some act as well. I wondered how different it would be this year. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to convince people I had changed, because I had always put on a cold exterior that no one could break through. This year I was going to keep my head down and not bring any attention to myself, I was ashamed of my actions and I needed to show that to everyone else.

     I didn’t like having too much time to think, it made me feel worse about myself, so I constantly tried to find ways to distract myself. I got out of bed, even though it was early, I had a shower and got dressed. I made my way downstairs and got the house elves to bring me some breakfast. After breakfast I wandered into the library, where I spent most of my time when I was younger, to escape my father. It was colossal, mountains of towering bookshelves, winding around a massive room, I had forgotten how amazing it was. ‘Hermione would be in her element here’, I thought. Wait. That was the second time today I had thought of her, those dreams had really messed with my head. And. I called her Hermione, even if it was in my head. What was happening to me? I quickly pushed all thoughts of her to the back of my mind. I grabbed a book and read.

     Before I knew it, it was 10:30. I made sure my trunk was fully packed and I had everything I needed. I found my mother in an armchair just watching the flames from the fire flicker and die out. I wondered how long she had been sitting there. I knocked on the door, and walked in the room. She jumped and shot straight up.

“I’m just about to leave. I thought I’d say goodbye to you before I did” I told her.

“Okay”, she said coming out of her daze, and looking up at me “Be careful and promise you’ll write to me.” She looked into my eyes and I looked back at hers. I made sure they looked sincere.

“Every week, I promise.”

She seemed satisfied and pulled my into a big hug “I’m sorry, you know, for letting your father control you, I was weak and scared to stop him, I realise now I should have protected you from all of this” A single tear escaped her eye and rolled down her face.

“I know”, I was still slightly angry at her for leaving me with him and not even trying to protect me, but it melted away as I saw how truly sorry she looked, “I think you know as well as I do how persuasive,” she flinched “he can be.”

She nodded. “I love you, Draco”

“I love you too.” I turned on the spot and apparated to a shady corner in Kings Cross station.