Dramione - Hate Is A Strong Word

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

~Hermione’s POV~

      The first week passed by quickly and smoothly. Nothing much really happened, Draco was almost his usual self, making snide comments to me, sneering and smirking at me. However something in his eyes told me he wasn’t really into it, as though he was forcing himself to do and say what he did, but didn’t actually want to. He kept silent most of the time, which was extremely strange, because Malfoy always had something to say. Especially with me being a mudblood. But he hasn’t even mentioned that.

I applied myself to my studies, working hard on any homework we got. This year had the N.E.W.T’s at the end of it, so I wanted to be extremely prepared and work hard, right from day one. I was in the library most of the time, but I often met up with Harry, Ron and Ginny. When I got back to my common room at night, Draco was reading, sat on one of the couches near the bookshelves. As always. He didn’t look up when I came in. Never did. I found it strange to see Draco reading so much, because he always seemed too ‘cool’ to do such a thing; he constantly made fun of me for doing it throughout the years. We just sat, at night, in silence, reading, until one of us was tired and went to bed. We had the same routine every night.

     I was reading in our common room just before bed, Draco was sat on a couch across from mine. He was acting slightly strange tonight, instead of completely blanking me, he kept glancing up at me from his book, as though he had something he wanted to say. But he decided against it and looked down at his book again, only to restart the process at few minutes later. I tried my best to ignore him, it was quite annoying actually, but I didn’t want to start an argument, so I left it.

As I read on, my eyes began to get droopy and my vision blurred. I was so comfy on the couch and getting up and going into my own room, just seemed such a chore. So I relaxed, giving into the temptation of sleep. I drifted into a deep slumber.

    Malfoy was standing across the room, he turned around and saw me. He smiled, a beautiful wide smile, I ran to him and he swept me up into his arms. He began placing kisses all over me; my hair, my head, my cheek, my ear, my chin, my neck and finally he found my mouth and kissed me deeply and passionately. It was perfect. He stroked my face and whispered “Hermione”. He stroked my arm and whispered my name again and again. He began to shake me gently, saying “Hermione” slightly louder.

     I awoke with a start. I noticed Malfoy’s perfect face inches from mine, and his hand was on my arm. I became aware he was leaned over me and I was lay down on the couch. In that moment I wanted him to close the distance between our bodies, I wanted him to kiss me. He looked into my eyes and held my gaze for a little longer than I expected.

He pulled away and stepped back “Good, you’re awake. Go to bed.” He said and walked away into his room.

In a daze, I got up and slowly made my way to my room. I sat on my bed and thought about the dream. ‘I don’t really like him. Do I? He is a Malfoy, of course I don’t. But he is rather good looking, his soft hair, his dreamy blue eyes, his amazing body. But he is cruel. And I have Ron! Why am I thinking like this? I have a boyfriend, who is really nice and kind. But in the dream Malfoy was so sexy and there was something when I woke up, as though he felt it too. Stop! He won’t like me, I am a mudblood! Just forget about it. I have a good enough boyfriend as it is.’

I went to sleep, confused.

     At about 2am I woke up and went to the toilet. When I was washing my hands, I heard a noise coming from Malfoy’s room. A whimpering sound. I pressed my ear to the door of his room and listened. He was crying and muttering words over and over again. I didn’t think I should go in, but as I turned to go back to my room his antagonising cry got louder. I just couldn’t leave him like this.

So I slowly opened the door, to find him on his bed, thrashing about. He was fast asleep, but clearly having a terrible dream. Tears were streaming through his clamped shut eyes and he kept muttering unintelligible words. I walked to him and shook him gently, it did no good. I shook him again and again. Nothing. So I stroked his hair out of his face and shouted “Draco!” His eyes shot open, they span around the room until they focussed on me. He smiled and reached out to grab my hand. I let him. With my other hand I wiped the tears from his face. He relaxed and smiled feebly at me.

“Are you okay, Draco?”

He nodded, “Yes, I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright, I just heard you talking in your sleep, you sounded distressed.”

“Yeah, I was, thanks for waking me.”

“No problem. Do you mind me asking what it was about?”

“My father was torturing me again, but this time over-” he stopped talking when he made eye contact with me, “Nothing, doesn’t matter.”

“Go on, please tell me.” I pleaded.

He shook his head, “It was nothing. But I do have something I want to say to you.”

Enticed, I sat down on the bed and waited for him to talk.

He gulped, this wasn’t easy for him to say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, for calling you a… a…you know. And for being horrible to you from the start. For calling you for reading, when I love to read. For calling you for being clever, but actually I really admire you for it. For being a prat and being cruel. I’m sorry for being an obnoxious idiot. I’m sorry for cursing you. And I’m deeply sorry for letting Bellatrix hurt you, I should have stopped her, I wanted to stop her. I’m a coward and a cruel, evil person. But I’m truly sorry. And I know it will be impossible for you to believe and forgive me. I don’t expect you to, I just wanted to let you know I really am sorry for everything.” Tears rolled down his face as he spoke.

I just sat there and stared. He had just apologised for everything. I had no idea what to say. I was lost for words. I realised that I was crying too. I stroked his face, I wiped his tears away and moved his hair from his eyes again and went back to stroking his cheek. I stared into his eyes.

“Thank you,” I whispered “Thank you and I do believe you. I do forgive you. I can see you truly resent everything you have done. I don’t think you are evil at all, you just had no choices. Your life was planned out for you since you were born. But you can change it now, for the better, I can see you desperately want to. And if you did try to help me with Bellatrix, you would have gotten yourself killed, which would be no use. So don’t worry, what happened, has happened and I’m moving on. You should too, start a new life, the way you want to live it. You can make the right choices instead of the wrong ones being chosen for you.” I leaned down and pressed my lips to his forehead. “Go to sleep, don’t worry, I forgive. You just have to forgive yourself.” I said gently and walked out the room.