Jerrie Thirlwards - One shots

Plan: I Love You

Jade Amelia Thirlwall was one of those people who gets easily flustered. She was prone to fits of worry, self-deprecation and angst which made all of those around her extremely annoyed.

However, that was at school. Now that she had left and out in the real world, living life to its full potential, she had thought things would be different.

Didn’t she deserve that? After all she had done, everything she’d been through, couldn’t the world just ease off a bit?

Alas, the fates were not that kind. Now, rather than getting agitated about schoolwork and homework assignments, Jade had fits of panic about her work. She almost preferred the former.

Almost. Because now, despite all of the other worries in her life, at least she had Perrie. Yes, she had Perrie before, but not in the same way. At school, Perrie had been best-friend-Perrie, the woman she fought with and talked with and fooled around with.

Now, she is girlfriend-Perrie. Gorgeous, successful, kind, loving Perrie, the woman she had grown to love without even realising it before it was too late, and she was head-over-heels crazy for the blonde woman.

But did Perrie feel as much about her? What if she was thinking of breaking up with her? Those were the questions that haunted Jade – when she wasn’t freaking out about work.

Perrie was due to arrive at her flat in five minutes, but suddenly Jade wanted to cancel. Things had been going so well lately; after over a year, their relationship was stronger than ever, and Jade was planning on telling Perrie that she loved her soon. But then her doubt had kicked in and everything was plunged into chaos.

Should she tell her? Was it too soon? Would Perrie freak out? Would she freak out? How could she do it? And, most importantly, would Perrie say it back?

These thoughts and questions plagued her every time she thought about Perrie, and she was sure that seeing her now would just worry her more. But how could she  call it off at such short notice? She didn’t have a good excuse, or any excuse for that matter. Perrie would undoubtedly be suspicious. Would it just ruin everything?

A knock on the front door broke Jade’s chain of thoughts, she went to open the door and see Perrie standing outside with a smile on her face, happy to see Jade.

“Hey, Jadey,” Perrie said affectionately, brushing Jade’s cheek with her thumb. Jade gulped and forced a smile.

Pulling her into a hug, Jade took in Perrie’s scent. “Hi,” she breathed happily, all of her worries from a minute ago momentarily forgotten.

And she did manage to force all of her bad thoughts out of her brain. They went out to dinner, they came back to the flat, they talked, they laughed, they had a great time. But then, while they were curled up on the sofa together, something nagged at the back of Jade’s mind.

Wasn’t there something she was supposed to be doing, right about now? Then she remembered; The “I love you,” plan!

But how could she say it? She shouldn’t be the first one to say it, she would come across as needy and that was not at all an attractive quality.

“Listen, Perrie…” she began, mentally kicking herself as soon as the words came out. That sounded like a breakup line!

Perrie turned to look at her, a panicked expression on her previously calm features. “What’s wrong?” she asked, a note of panic in her voice. “Is this a breakup?” Jade shook her head quickly and Perrie breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. Is it about work? Because listen, I know that things are hard right now and you’re under a lot of pressure to do well-“ Perrie carried on talking and Jade tried to stop her talking but she had got carried away and didn’t notice her frantic head-shaking and arm-waving.

“-but the secret of happiness is not doing what one loves but loving what one does. So, if you’re feeling like you aren’t happy, just try to love and appreciate what you do, because I promise, that will make it easier-“ Perrie carried on, completely oblivious to her girlfriend’s attempts at stopping her.

Finally, Jade managed to silence Perrie by pressing her lips to her. Perrie stopped talking. “Shush,” Jade murmured, wrapping her arms around Perrie’s neck. When she was sure Perrie had shut up, she pulled away – albeit rather reluctantly. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant to say was there is something I need to tell you.”

Perrie nodded, still not entirely sure of what had just happened. “So you’re alright?” she asked, placing her hands on Jade’s shoulders. Jade nodded and smiled. Perrie was so thoughtful and kind, she always put her needs first.

As soon that realisation had crossed her mind, Jade felt a great weight lift from her shoulders. Perrie always put her first! How could anyone do that without loving them? She was clearly one of the most important things in Perrie’s life. What had she ever been worried about? Her previous worry seemed so comical now, she felt like laughing. But she held it back, for the sake of the Plan.

"We’ve been together for a long time,” she began, her voice wavering uncertainly.

Perrie grinned. “Almost fifteen months,” she stated proudly. Jade nodded.

“Right,” she said. “And I have loved every minute. I really have,” she blushed. “You are such a wonderful person. You know that, right?” She grasped Perrie’s hands in hers, needing to feel her close to her.

“Jadey,” Perrie said quietly. “What is this all about?” Jade looked down at the floor, too embarrassed to answer. Perrie gave her a quick kiss. “I can see you’re completely stressing out right now, and I want to know why. Please. You can tell me,” she assured her gently.

Perrie kissed her again and Jade pulled her closer. All too soon, Perrie broke away. “Jade,” she said sternly. “Tell me.”

Jade tried to kiss her again but Perrie leaned backwards, not letting her. “Fine!” she threw her hands up in the air in defeat, suddenly feeling very nervous.

Perrie raised her eyebrows. “You want to know what this is about?” she nodded quickly. “I want to tell you. I really do, Perrie. I’d never keep something from you. But it just feels so wrong – well, it doesn’t. It actually feels so perfect, so right, but I can’t say it first, it’s all just so wrong…”

Perrie pressed a finger to her lips and she stopped talking . “Jade. You’re babbling. Slow down.”

She lowered her finger and Jade took a deep breath. “Okay. Here I go. And take this a sign, as proof of what I’m saying, because this is really, really scary and I don’t want to be the first one to say it, because I don’t want to make the first move, but I guess you deserve that because I love you, Perrie.”

Jade stopped talking and pressed her lips together. She hadn’t meant for it to slip out like that, among all of the incessant jabbering. But she wasn’t sure if the words had had the desired effect, because Perrie was staring at her with a strange look in her eyes. “You… I…” she stammered. She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then open them again. “That was what you were worried about?” she asked incredulously. Jade nodded sheepishly, Perrie laughed and pulled her into a hug. “You can be so ridiculous sometimes, baby.” She said, still chuckling. She felt Jade’s shoulders slump a bit against her stomach. She hadn’t said it back.

Perrie pulled away again. “Jade,” she said, dead serious now. “Never be afraid to tell me something so little. I thought it was something bad, you really worried me for a moment there.”

“I did?” Jade asked in a small voice.

Nodding, Perrie stroked her cheek. “Of course you did. When you’re worried, you make me worry. Don’t feel bad, though. It’s only because I love you too.”

She pulled her into a hug and Jade smiled. Plan I Love You: Complete.