Dear Adam,
Listen, I want you to know, this isn't your fault. That probably won't help, but it's true. If I'm being completely honest, you were the main reason I even kept breathing for this long. You supported me through everything and were always there for me. You were the best brother I could've ever asked for. Do you remember when you took me to the water park? We spent the whole day together, laughing and joking. That was before things got back. If I could ask anything of you, it would be for you to remember me that way. When you think of me, that's how I want you to. As happy, smiling, and full of joy. I don't want you to remember me as the closeted shut-in who never left her room. That's not the legacy I want to leave behind, no matter how truthful it may be. I'm sorry for everything. I wasn't the best sister, not by a long shot, but I tried. I wish I could've been better, could've been there for you. I wish that day at the water park that we didn't have to pretend to be dating each other's partners. I wish I'd been there to see you come out as gay and I wish I'd been able to come out. But at this point, I know that I won't live long enough to see you come out, let alone to come out myself. And for that, I apologize. I know I've been a failure and disappointment of a little sister, but I hope that I made you happy, at least for a while. 18 years, to be exact. To be honest, I don't know how you'll take my suicide. But just know that I love and care for you, more than I cared for myself, clearly. You were amazing and this wasn't your fault. I'm sorry and I love you.
-Alice
YOU ARE READING
One Hundred Sleepless Nights
RandomAlice Hall. 18. A senior in high school with a family. And riddled with depression. On August 11th, she decides to commit suicide. But there's some people she needs to say goodbye to. For 100 days straight, she writes one letter every night. Until d...
