All my stars

VII- Pegasus

Our story may have come to a conclusion but the relationships I built with people who knew you too now feel like an extension of you. I recall one of them asking me if I knew the exact moment I realized I loved you. And although you were the one who picked up on every little detail and remembered things about us that I would have put past anyone, the memory of the instances my body, soul and spirit, just knew are things I will never leave behind, intentionally nor otherwise. I don't think I could forget you even if I wanted to.

I think it was when I caught myself looking at you a little too long for us to be just friends. The times I would render you stupefied, for some unknown reason, with the amount of things I could snort at that nobody else found remotely hilarious. It was when I realized nothing you could ever do could make me love you any less. It was bundled within me wanting you to be the only person to unravel me. It was in my recollection of the existence of a spectacular you. It was in the way you set all my stars, from Aquila to Libra and beyond, into orbit. It sprouted from you claiming my way with words fed your soul. Yes, you did always say I was a phenomenon many more needed to experience. My little force of nature, you'd whisper.

It's always been funny to me that people know they've met the someone that's going to shift everything for them long before they ever say it. It doesn't dawn on them right before the big 3 words and 8 letters come out, no, it tends to be in the little things. Like when they pulled you closer in public to ground you because they could sense you were getting anxious or when they replenished your printer's ink box without you having to ask and they didn't feel the need to bring it to your attention in order to get a thank you. And so it was not exactly love at first sight. Rather, familiarity. Like hi, oh shit, it's you isn't it ? If I get to have an epic love in this lifetime, it is going to be with you.

Till this day, I am unsure why you made it seem like I was out of your league when it was I who was undeserving of you. To me, luck was when opportunity met preparation so, in other words, I believed it to be practical but non-existent. Now, I know lucky is to have you.

Peculiar is it not ? That the answer to this question is that I knew both gradually and all at once. I knew I would have you and it makes me happy that, even in the end, you knew you had me too. If I have nothing, I have that. Till this day, you are the one thing I couldn't have been clumsy enough to break.

- The one thing I did right.