should've said something | shyland

Chapter Ten

"Don't play stupid," Garrett snapped back, and Ryland winced, hoping Shane couldn't hear the conversation through the opening of the door. He didn't know what to say to Garrett, so he chose to say nothing. "Oh my God, you're in love with Shane—" Garrett repeated. "Aren't you?"

Ryland struggled to find his voice hidden beneath the lies trying to crawl their way up his throat from the pit of his stomach. Garrett crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, waiting for Ryland to confirm what he already knew to be true, but Ryland wasn't ready to let this slip. He couldn't let Garrett – one of his best friends and Shane's ex-boyfriend – in on the secret he'd been hiding for so long.

"Garrett," He squeaked, managing to snap himself out of his trace long enough to respond, though he knew he sounded anything but believable. "N—No, that's insane, you know I'm straight."

The shaggy-haired boy sighed. "Come on, Ryland, you can't look at somebody the way you look at him and not be in love with them." Ryland trained his eyes on his shoes. "Oh my God, I should have known—I should have realized—You're in love with Shane." Garrett shook his head. "How long?"

"What do you mean 'how long'?"

"How long have you been in love with him?"

Ryland hesitated. He considered denying it again, but Garrett was already glaring at him, and he knew lying would only make things worse. Instead, he shrugged, avoiding Garrett's gaze as he studied the patterns of the tiles below him. "I don't know," His voice was shaky as he admitted his feelings out loud for the first time since admitting them to himself. "Since before we met you."

"But—you let me date him."

He nodded. "Well, he liked you back. I—I wanted him to be happy, and I wanted you to be happy, and if he liked me, he would have—he would have said something. But, I'm not the person who made him realize he had feelings for guys – that was you. And, he was so stressed about it, and I didn't want to be that guy who told him not to date you because I was in love with him. Because, he didn't like me back, and I had to accept that, and I didn't—Garrett, it's okay. He's fine, and—and we're fine, and everything's okay."

"Ryland," Garrett's voice broke on the second syllable. "I can't date him knowing you're in love with him and probably always have been. I love Shane, I do, but—part of me knows we're not meant to be anything more than friends, and—and I'm sorry I ruined the chance for you."

"Garrett, he doesn't like me back."

"You were the first person he asked for," Garrett explained as the realization dawned over both of them. "It wasn't his mom, or me, or—you were the first person he asked for. Ryland, I don't know if you two are going to end up together—"

"—Garrett—"

"—but, you own his heart, and that's something I never had." Garrett shook his head. "He loves you, whether it's as a friend or more, and I know it's hard, but he needs you."

"Why do you think I'm still here?"

Garrett frowned, and Ryland sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Listen, can you—not tell Shane about this? I'm not ready for anyone to know."

"Ryland—"

His eyes began to water. "Garrett, please."

"Okay," Garrett agreed softly. "I won't tell Shane."

Ryland took a deep breath and turned around to head back into Shane's room. The auburn-haired boy was dozing off against his pillow, one arm slung over his face and the other settled by his side, though he opened his eyes as soon as the two boys stepped back through the door. Ryland gave him a soft smile and dropped into the chair beside his bed, resisting the urge to take Shane's hand and press his lips to every inch of the boy's skin.