Thoughts

4:44 AM

My twin flame,
I wanted to write you a birthday letter like last year, but I apologize in advance if it sounds more like a long emotional thank you note. I want to thank you for agreeing to watch shitty Netflix movies with me. I want to thank you for allowing me to selfishly keep you up at night because I have such a hard time letting you go. I want to thank you for all of the hugs you have offered me to squeeze the sadness out of me, and the shoulder to cry on when I'm in my feelings. I want to thank you for all the energy cuddles you send my way when we are missing each other. I want to thank you for hyping me up and believing in me all the times I have doubted myself. I want to thank you for being so understanding with me. I want to thank you for loving me as deeply, possessively, and passionately as you do. Most of all, I want to thank you for existing. Thank you for being mine. Thank you for being my bestest friend in the whole world. Thank you for everything you have done for me since we met. Thank you for helping me grow into the woman I am today. This is legit my favorite day of the year. Do you want to know why? Because I can't fucking imagine my world without you in it. I am so thankful I know you. And I am so incredibly thankful to your parents for creating the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful, most amazing, romantic, loving, compassionate man. I am in love with the man you were when I met you and I am in love with the man you are today. I love every version of you. I love your perfect imperfections. In my eyes, you grow more handsome with each passing year. I hope this day is more special than the rest because you truly deserve it. I almost can't believe another year has passed since I last poured my heart out to you in a birthday letter. It feels like we started talking just yesterday, but at the same time it feels like I have known you all my life. You somehow make time meaningless. You make everything else feel meaningless because the only thing that matters is us, our love. You have brought so much light into my life since that first conversation. I would be so fucking lost without your light. And your love is the only thing that has kept the darkness from consuming my soul. You mean absolutely everything to me. You really do. I know I don't always tell you how I feel because I have a shitty habit of keeping my feelings guarded, but I hope you know how much I care about you and how much I love you. At times I think I tell you I love you too much, but I never really explain why. I love the way your voice sounds when you say my name. I love the way your smile beautifully graces your lips. I love the way your kisses turn me into your puddle. Even after all of this time, I still get butterflies when I see that massive goofy grin of yours. After all these years, my heart still flutters when I see those ocean eyes. My heart leaps every time I see you pop up in the chat. My heart completely melts when you call me beautiful. I want you as much today as I did when our love was new, and everything you do shows me you feel the same way about me. I see reminders of you everywhere I look, and they make me ache to be near you. I hate being apart from you, but our love gives me something to look forward to each and every day. I keep counting down the days until I get to feel your arms wrapped around me, until I get to fall asleep to the sound of your soft snoring, until I get to hear your laugh the second it leaves your lips. I can't wait to make you the happiest man in the world because you have already made me the happiest woman in all the land. I can't fucking wait until we finally live together. I imagine you here at times, beside me. I am often left feeling the phantom touch of your fingers caressing my skin. I often hear the ghost of your voice, telling me you love me. Sometimes I wake up and expect to see you beside me and I'm disappointed when reality hits me. Sometimes I feel like my heart will burst with all the longing and excitement I feel when I think of you. It hurts to be so far away from you. The pain of not being with you right now is worth it though. You are worth it. I would wait a lifetime for you. What I feel for you is something I have never felt before, and you are the author of these feelings. I never thought it was possible to have this much love for one person. I never thought my heart was capable of it. I never imagined I would find someone who could truly touch my life the way you have. I am consumed by the desire to be with you, to talk to you and to feel you near me. I just really want to hold you, talk to you, laugh with you, cry with you. I want to play, walk, dance and just be one with you. You have become my everything. I want to be your everything. Being yours has made all my dreams come true. I genuinely treasure you. I know there are days when we fight, but you are the only person I want to fight with. You let yourself be vulnerable with me and you trust me beyond my comprehension. And for that I love you so much that it seems like no dictionary has enough words for me to properly express myself. Today on your birthday, I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I love you and I hope I've succeeded in making you feel the depth of my love for you. I am so excited to celebrate your birthday together each year for the rest of our lives. I look forward to many more special moments with you. I love you with all my heart. You are my life. I cherish absolutely every moment we spend together, and I love you even more in the moments we are apart. Tonight as I add to this birthday letter, it's like you are right here beside me. Every minute of every day, I feel that you are with me. I miss you, daddy. I'm coming home soon. Happy birthday, my precious love. I really hope this day is just as amazing as you are. I love you🖤