Welcome Home, You Fantastic Bastard (Frerard)

6 - Acceptance and Messed Up Jokes

It didn't take long for Gerard to settle down alongside me and fall asleep. He seemed exhausted lately. I wanted to believe it was due to the extensive care he was providing me with, but something deep down in me lead me to believe otherwise. It seemed to me that he was more mentally tired than physically. 

There was Gerard's mysterious visitor from the other day... The vague remembrance I had of his voice echoed through my head again. Gerard wouldn't be cheating on me, right? As sad as it sounded, he seemed desperate to keep me around now. Unless of course, something had gone on while I was absent. I had been locked behind bars for three years, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't expecting to ever see me again, so unfortunately, it was very possible that he had experimented around with other guys. And maybe he still was...

Surely, that was what was stressing him out. An ex lover who never knew about me? Or, more likely, a current lover who doesn't know about me... It seemed outrageous, but after everything I had gone through, I was willing to believe it. Although, I doubted Gerard would ever confirm such a thing. Especially now that we had finally made up with one another. Yet, things wouldn't just simply work out if he was with two guys. I just hoped I would be the rejected one. 

Glancing over, I studied the long, beautiful lashes lining Gerard's sealed eyelids. In all my three years spent trapped within the prison walls, I never stumbled upon someone quite as magnificent as him. Truthfully, there weren't many guys that were my type in my shared and neighboring cells, but once in a while I'd get cat-called by a descent looking one. But I simply turned my head and played hard to get.

However, for my own safety and preference to keep as many allies as possible while I was in there, I acted as though I had a slight romantic interest in the others. Sure, most of them only wanted to have sex, which was expected, but some of them were quite sweet to me, which, I was very surprised about. A few of them even mentioned meeting up again on the outside one day, but what I never shared was that truly, my heart only yearned for my precious Gerard. I promised myself that one day I would reunite with him and hold him in my arms again. Sure, we hadn't left off on the best of terms, but no matter what, he was mine, and I was his.

And as of currently, I really hoped I was the only person who thought that about him.

Tuning out of my thoughts and back into the present, I realized that I was growing uncomfortable. Not wanting to wake up Gerard, I attempted to gently and quietly adjust my leg on the bed, but I accidentally shifted it a bit too much, causing sharp pains to radiate from it. I winced slightly, trying to not make too much noise even though it hurt like a bitch. However, I still unintentionally woke up the light sleeper to my side. 

Gerard immediately raised his head from where he had been resting it on my shoulder and looked in my direction.

"What's wrong? What hurts?" He asked, examining me from head to toe like an overprotective mother.

I chuckled at how adorable he was and cupped his cheeks in my hands, "Nothing's wrong as long as you're here".

Instead of flirting back at my sappy comment, Gerard simply rolled his eyes and focused his attention on my leg. To my surprise, he grabbed ahold of it rather tightly, making the pain return. 

I gritted my teeth together, still trying to act tough in front of him. I had been to prison, so of course he was expecting some badass boyfriend to return, right? Unfortunately, I wasn't all that...

"I'll go pick up your prescription," Gerard decided, jumping out of bed. "It's obvious you need it".

"No, no," I protested. "I'll be fine." Then, making an impulsive and ridiculous decision, I attempted to follow Gerard and ended up stepping to the ground with my bad leg first. Earlier, I had only managed to get to the door by slowly operating my way around the room using furniture, such as the dresser, to keep me off my leg, because my crutches currently resided in the other room. I guess I hadn't thought it out this time...

"Fuck, fuck fuck!" I cried, falling back onto the bed. I hated being restricted like this, and Gerard could tell. After closing my eyes, groaning, and pouting, he walked back over and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

"It'll be okay, Frankie," Gerard hushed me, running a soft hand through my hair. "I know this is tough, but you did get hit by a car pretty badly. No one can just walk it off as if nothing ever happened".

I sighed, somewhat embarrassed, but nodded my head in agreement.

"I won't be long, I promise," he assured me before giving me one last kiss. Then, he rushed into the other room to leave. However, before he left the apartment, he made sure to bring me my crutches in case I needed to get up in the meantime. 

Sadly, I listened to the door shut behind him as he left. I really did need the medicine if I wanted to get through the day without losing my mind, so as much as I didn't want him to have to do it for me, I let him go pick it up. Truthfully, I didn't want him to leave me anymore either. Being away from him now just killed me. It just seemed that every time we separated, something went terribly wrong. And I couldn't afford to lose him again. My heart wouldn't be able to take it.

...

Before I knew it though, I found myself waking up the sound of my favorite voice yet again. After letting my eyes flutter open slowly, I was greeting by Gerard's blinding red hair. I giggled softly as my eyes came more into focus and I could make out the rest of the perfect details on his face. 

"You fell asleep again," Gerard smiled, resting his hand on my cheek. "Sorry to wake you up, but look what I got!" Then, the loud sound of a rattling pill bottle filled my ears as Gerard violently shook my perception painkillers in my face. "You're going to feel so much better once you get these in your system".

"Oh trust me, I know all about it," I laughed, making a joke referring to my past, excessive drug use. But watching Gerard's cheerful smile, fade away, I instantly regretted having said anything about it at all. While I was addicted to drugs, I was horrible to Gerard. The memories of me treating him like absolute garbage still heavily stained my mind over three years later. I knew they probably still wandered around his head too...

I still hated myself for it. And everyday I wished I could go back and change how I had acted towards him. But I had been ignorant... 

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, as an awful sensation of guilt washed over me from what I had just said. 

Yet surprisingly, Gerard's grin returned and he simply laughed it off, "It's okay, Frankie. I know you didn't mean it".

And with that, my forgiving Gerard helped me take my medicine, and I avoided making any more painful references to my hopefully permanent, past life.